And now, Deep Thoughts, by Ray Not-So-Handy:

If you're going to search Netflix for season 3 episodes of Heroes, it's not a good idea to misspell it as "herpes." Interesting search results get returned.

Likewise, if you're going to complain to the MacArthur Foundation about once again being passed over for one of their genius grants, you probably shouldn't misspell the word "application."

Why do realtors all insist on putting their pictures on all of their business stationery? On cards, they're too small; on faxes, they may as well just come to my office and set my black ink cartridge on fire; and most of them are ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road anyway.

To the next person to post that baby-dancing-to-Beyonce thing, I only have one thing to say: Yo, baby I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but my kitten has one of the best videos of all time!

IBM is running an ad online reading, "Lotus knows the closest place to meet your client is 17 inches away."  Well, yeah, if you're a porn star or something.

If you suffer from occasional insomnia like I do, do yourself a favor and stay away from the current issue of Wired, which informs us that, not only did the USSR have an actual self-activated doomsday machine like the one in Dr. Strangelove, it's still fucking turned on:O 

And just like Premier Kissoff's blunder in the movie, the Soviets totally screwed up the deterrent effect of such a device by NOT BOTHERING TO TELL US.

Number of articles in the first two (and only) entries on Google News about this: 23.

Number of articles in the first five (of many) entries on Google News about Jon Gosselin: 1,572.  Shit, we deserve to get blown up.

Somehow my deep thoughts have degenerated into a bad imitation of Harper's Index.  I'll stop now.

HEADLESS TSUNAMI IN TOPLESS TOWN

For once, it appeared that a Rupert Murdoch media outlet was actually BEING fair and balanced:



Alas, it all turned out to be a prank, along the lines of previous efforts such as Not The New York Times and Off The Wall Street Journal.

Rupe, of course, was Not Amused, according to Channel 4 (the NYC one):

The Post responded through their reps at Rubenstein PR, which released a statement that was headlined: "Witless Spoof in Flawless Format."

"It’s no surprise that they tried to spoof the New York Post; they figured this time they’d choose a paper people actually love to read," said the statement, taking a obvious shot at the New York Times. "But this is a limp effort. It has none of the wit and insight New Yorkers expect from their favorite paper. The Post will not be hiring any of their headline writers."

But perhaps the powers that be at the Post didn't have as much humor about the prank as their statement would suggest.  Some of the volunteers who were distributing the fake papers outside of the Post's real offices were detained by police and had their papers taken away, according to Daily Finance.com.

Personally, I wouldn't mind a tsuanami wiping out Rockefeller Plaza, as long as the floodline falls below KO's office at 30 Rock but above Glenn Beck's floor of Foxsucker News's own Rockefeller Center HQ.