And now, Deep Thoughts, by Ray Not-So-Handy:

[captainsblog]

If you're going to search Netflix for season 3 episodes of Heroes, it's not a good idea to misspell it as "herpes." Interesting search results get returned.

Likewise, if you're going to complain to the MacArthur Foundation about once again being passed over for one of their genius grants, you probably shouldn't misspell the word "application."

Why do realtors all insist on putting their pictures on all of their business stationery? On cards, they're too small; on faxes, they may as well just come to my office and set my black ink cartridge on fire; and most of them are ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road anyway.

To the next person to post that baby-dancing-to-Beyonce thing, I only have one thing to say: Yo, baby I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but my kitten has one of the best videos of all time!

IBM is running an ad online reading, "Lotus knows the closest place to meet your client is 17 inches away."  Well, yeah, if you're a porn star or something.

If you suffer from occasional insomnia like I do, do yourself a favor and stay away from the current issue of Wired, which informs us that, not only did the USSR have an actual self-activated doomsday machine like the one in Dr. Strangelove, it's still fucking turned on:O 

And just like Premier Kissoff's blunder in the movie, the Soviets totally screwed up the deterrent effect of such a device by NOT BOTHERING TO TELL US.

Number of articles in the first two (and only) entries on Google News about this: 23.

Number of articles in the first five (of many) entries on Google News about Jon Gosselin: 1,572.  Shit, we deserve to get blown up.

Somehow my deep thoughts have degenerated into a bad imitation of Harper's Index.  I'll stop now.

Comments

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

Ah, Ray, I knew I'd get to you eventually. This so could have been one of my posts: ADD in an insightful sort of way. I'm so proud! :D