captainsblog: (Dr Teeth)
Dear Firefox,

I love ya, babe. You serve up  -bed browsing and keep me safe from Bill and Ballmer's not-so-excellent internet adventures, but face it. You're an enabler.

You store my passwords without me even having to think about them. They just appear in their ***** and ●●●●●-obscured fields and leave me to those higher Plato-type levels of thinking.

Except when I awaken to a post-midnight 3.0.something update which magically erased the entire freakin' collection of them.

You think I KNOW my amiestreet dot com name, much less my password? Hast thou a clue how many different court sites I'm signed into, each with a slight variant on the username, password or both?

Thank heavens for my November crash, because I was able to restore my entire default profile from THAT, including most of my last ten years of Mozilla passwords, to get on with my life this morning.

Love ya but it's not always easy,
Me.

----

Dear Mr. Nokia I Am Writing This To You....

If that really is your real name, you hitherto mostly anonymous inventor of the mobile phone.

We've come so far, you and I, since my first boat-anchor of a Rochester Tel Mobile unit in the mid 90s. Nowadays, you sing, you dance, you even browse when I hit the wrong key in the car. And bless you, for including a mute button in your magic bag of tricks.

Just one problem with that.

You insist on emitting a dying-battery tone when the battery is, well, dying. While I understand this from an engineering standpoint, you might want to consider integrating this programming with another simple feature on the phone:

The clucking CLOCK!

At least once a week, I'm awakened by your loud, piercing "bee-DOOP!" sound at 1 a.m., 5 a.m., or whatever a.m.  And am joined in this happy news by the animals, who take ANY nocturnal activity as the signal that they're soon to be fed.  Even if they're completely mistaken. 

The 3 a.m. calls really can wait. Trust me on this.

Press My End Button,
Ray:P

----

To the Medical Profession:

Middle-of-the-night wakeup calls from my cell phone aren't the only distractions in life. Mid-day voice mails from youse guys can be just as bad.

Like the one which came, sometime late yesterday, from Eleanor's OB-GYN, asking her to call in concerning her test results from last week.

Needless to say, we did not assume this call was intended to congratulate her on a perfect 100 percent score. No, calls from doctors of this kind can only bring one kind of news, and it's the kind of trouble that starts with T that rhymes with B that stands for BAAAAAAD.

It didn't help that I'd just begun reading The Middle Place, a beautifully written but emotionally taxing tale of an author facing cancer in her own life and a recurrence of it in her father's, so I was even more disposed to expect the worst than I usually am. I worried, I slept badly, I couldn't wait for the damn office to open this morning.

You can imagine how the actual patient felt.

Turns out, it's probably Not Mucha Anything. Federal regulations prohibit specific disclosure of the test results which will be discussed next week, but I think I can say that "Endometrial Cells" would be a good name for a band.

Also, that I'm incredibly relieved, and still praying, but with greater optimism.
captainsblog: (Marvin)

As I seem to keep writing, it's never simple around here, even when it should be.

Now THIS would be simple.


(thanks to [livejournal.com profile] roguepuppet and whoever I'm hotlinking to for that).


Instead, yesterday's mission only should have been simple: get signatures and payment on Emergency Filing Numero Uno, and find/purchase simple part to allow new DVD recorder (the subject of yesterday's rant) to receive and record TV signal.

Mission Accomplished by about 1 p.m. Go me. Now all that remained was to transmit the Emergency Filing across the internet, and plug in simple part to make TV work properly.  A five-minute job on the worst of average days.

Except, as we used to say on 2047, enter Lieutenant Machina to gum the whole thing up, for the tasks didn't get finished for closer to five hours.

----

Work before play, so I opened my software (I'd already conformed the files to the final-signed version) and hit the humorously-named "one-touch filing button," clicking all the acknowledgements about how everything now proceeds automatically and to NOT TOUCH ANYTHING.

That under way, I inserted PAL-style plug A into RF-style cable end B, plugged it into the television, and.... nothing. Faint traces of two local channels and the slightest hint of TNT, of all things, but no more.

Back down the hall. "One touch filing" has made a big plate of bankruptcy hash. Screens all over the place about how this field is missing and how I'm locked out of entering the "bankruptcy" field (even though I can see it on the screen). I aborted out. We can still do this the old, stone-knives-and-bearskins way by manually uploading the files, I said.

Two hours later, I still had the district's version of the Blue Screen of Death. It was sending the file, but at a slow speed not seen since AOL version 1.9. I bailed out and entered "query" mode to make sure the file hadn't been sent sufficiently to generate an "event." It hadn't, but even this simple inquiry task was taking painfully forever. It then occurred to me: maybe there's an infinite number of monkeys on the server right now trying to upload Shakespeare's Chapter 11.

More details for the real gluttons for punishment )



After all that, close to 6 p.m., we finished outside, all kissed and made up, and I tried the upload again. Whoosh! It went through like a greased pig!

Meanwhile, I asked Eleanor to check the connection she'd made with the original bare-wire cable a few days ago. Amazingly, in the course of all my fumbling I'd broken a cable extension cord, but did it in a way which exposed its bare wire and provided a textbook example of how to strip and crimp the bare one coming out of the wall. Somewhat differently than the way she'd originally done it, it turns out.

Five minutes later (remember five minutes? like what this was all supposed to be about ten paragraphs ago?), the connections were all in and actual channels, from Kidstuff to Kolbert, were coming through the DVD player.

I then went off to weird dreams about the dam backing up and all the cellars and roads in town flooding.  And there's rain in the forecast today. Dam.

captainsblog: (Bash penguin)
We weren't through with the bugs, though.

I got an email this afternoon from another of the Good People around these parts, [livejournal.com profile] thanatos_kalos, needing some voice assistance with a spoof video she's doing for a class project for her Masters'.  I'd passed on this previously mainly because my high-teknikul setup here lacked one vital thing: a microphone.

I rooted through drawers. I went to the neighbor's home to see if they might have a mike. No ruck.  But then I had a brilliant idear: phone it in.

I'd never done a phone post, but I knew, from some of you who have, that they come out on the other end in perfectly lovely .mp3 files.

LJ Phone Home )

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