Yuks and Yuckier

[captainsblog]

It's one of the hardest parts of trying to remain both social and sober at the same time: those around you who aren't trying to do both. In my more than three alcohol-free years, I have never been tempted by the sight or aroma of drink in music, theatrical or sports venues, but when I see the bad old effects of the stuff on people in those places, at a minimum it reduces the enjoyment and at its worst makes me want to leave.  Fortunately, I have now discovered the first of what may turn into more opportunities to cut that problem off before it even occurs.

It's thanks to a friend who I met at an open mic event at a North Buffalo brewery, of all places, which I traveled to last month to see a Rochester friend doing standup after another Rochester comic friend got stood up by the brewery there she was scheduled to do standup at. Chelsea hosted that weekly brewery open mic every Tuesday until Christmas Eve (it's back again this year), but she also became involved with hosting an evening of comedy at this event:



This was the night after the second of the funerals I'd attended last week, and I was damn ready for some laughs. That S16 logo stands for Sober 16, a riff on our 716 area code and a haven for recoverers which has put on mixers, raves, at least one drag show and, now, a standup show without a drop of the dram.

Not that there wasn't a bar. I got to this once industrial Black Rock area early, but by showtime close to 100 people were doing everything you can do in a drinking establishment except drink:



I've mentioned many times how hard it can be to find a non-alcholic beer in a restaurant, bar or other venue. They're no less expensive than their main buzzed brands and are carried by the same beer distributors, but as one of the comics pointed out, they aren't promoted with the same catchy sexed-up slogans that their regular and light beers are.  He noted that the Coors NA brand, known as Coors Edge, doesn't get any such advertising love and pales in comparison to the "Silver Bullet" snazz of their alcoholic lite beer. So he came up with a few- but when I got to the bar, it wasn't Coors Edge on offer but the best of the NA-only brands I've ever come across:



(Yes, Chelsea got a mocktail named for her:)

Seeing Athletic on that sign gave me ideas for some slogans of my own:

"We're on the bottom shelf of the cooler behind the bar, and you remember this because you drink them. Athletic."

"Yes, Officer, I've been drinking. Athletic."

"The taste of beer without the beer goggle eyes. You'll thank us in the morning. Athletic."

Three comedians took the mic after Chelsea's welcome. All were recovering alcoholics of vintages going well beyond just a week of one Dry January. First was Nicky, who had an equally dry delivery of her own introduction:

Hi, I'm in my 30s, I live with my parents, I'm a recovering alcoholic and I don't have a drivers license.  Yes, I'm single.

Next was Brian, he of the fake Coors Edge commercials. Among his other riffs was one you can actually watch for yourself.

Finally, Jacob the headliner- a Black/Latino/Jewish dude who worked all of them into his routine. He made the usual jokes about Buffalo weather but his take added our more recent components of tornadoes and even an earthquake:

I was in my apartment in the bathroom, and I felt the earth move. I looked down and saw a text from my landlord: DID YOU FALL?

Yeah, he's a big guy.

Chelsea came back out to take the group photo of all of them and the S16 sponsor of the event, and said we'd be in it!



Sorry, that's the one I took of them taking the picture. Here's theirs:



My head's behind Adam the sponsor, a row behind the woman in the red hoodie.

All in all, a great way to spend an evening without a hangover the next day to regret. They have more things upcoming and I'll be keeping an eye.

Two bits of short-lasting good karma came out of that night. I got into my car after the show and saw the on-again/off-again check engine light was back off. I figured JARVIS must've liked the jokes. I also listened to the final minutes of the Sabres game. The first time I met Chelsea hosting stand-up was at that North Buffalo brewery with the giant vats (I agreed with last week's headliner comic Jacob- they look like Frankenstein machines)  the night the Sabres blew a 4-0 lead to begin their infamous 13 game skid.  This time, coming out of the sober standup, I got to hear the Sabres HOLD  a 4-0 lead.  I'm waiting for the coach to blame the Colorado collapse on the brewery vats:P

No idea who or what he'll blame for yesterday, when the Sabres again got out to an early 2-0 lead and wound up losing 6-2. And the fucking check engine light came back on:P

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Oh well. All of that, even the stupid light coming back on, sure beats fucking around with medical things that aren't even for my own benefit.

I've mentioned two parallel efforts I'm involved in for weight management. One involves a clinical trial where they actually pay me and promised a variety of monitoring and mentoring opportunities at no cost. The other's through my gym, whicb every January for several years has run an eight week "transformation" program with its own set of monitoring/mentoring components all included in a one-time $35 payment. This is the first year I've done the latter; both involved having some kind of body scan done to measure the "before" components of bone, fat and muscle.  The gym's signups for their "InBody" machine began Friday, and I got mine done right before a class that morning. The trial people, meanwhile, had been trying to get the radiology practice to schedule their version, called a "NexScan." Literally in the first block leaving the gym, the radiologist place finally called to set an appointment. After taking over a month to schedule it, now they wanted me to come in ASAP. 

How about now?, I replied facetiously. Amazingly, they said they could get me right in. I drove the few blocks, pulled off my wedding ring as my token piece of  metal, hoped the wait wouldn't be too long because I had nothing to bring in with me to read or work on, and began my check-in.

It was a fast check-in. While I was standing there, the receptionist informed me that the NexScan machine was broken and they'd been trying all morning to fix it. She had no idea when I could come back, but: could you do it at our Snyder location?

Duh. "Snyder" is the section of Amherst my office is in. She made the appointment for me to head right over, but while she's filling out the card, my phone displayed a number. Theirs. From the tech upstairs who proceeded to tell me I couldn't have it done at their Snyder location or anywhere other than on that specific machine. So they proceeded to cancel me for the second time in under a minute.  Even the dead United Health CEO was impressed with their shitty customer service.

Once I got to the office and eventually home, I heard from both Eleanor and a co-worker that this particular radiology practice has a shitty reputation with the patients who are required to go there for mammograms every year. The waits are long, the waiting rooms uncomfortable and the business model seems based on cattle cars.  They've yet to reschedule me, but once it's done I am going to let the referring physicians know they're not doing them, or their trial patients, any favors and they might want to sign somebody else up to do these scans. Hey, I know a gym where they've got a machine....

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Then I got home to another wonderful bit of medical related news: Eleanor had an envelope in the mail from her former orthopaedic practice:

Excelsior got themselves hacked:P

Excelsior Orthopaedics is notifying approximately 357,000 people that their personal and health information was compromised in a data breach resulting from a ransomware attack that came to light in June 2024.

Operating several clinics in Amherst, New York, including the Buffalo Surgery Center and Northtowns Orthopaedics, Excelsior Orthopaedics is a healthcare company that specializes in orthopaedical treatment care.

In June 2024, Excelsior fell victim to a “data security incident” that was initially believed to have resulted in the information of current and former employees being compromised.

Following an initial wave of written notification letters to the potentially affected individuals sent in early August, the company sent a second wave of letters on December 31, after learning that the scope of the data breach was wider and that patient information was also compromised.

“Initial results of the forensic investigation indicated that the incident resulted in the compromise of data relating to current and former patients and employees of Excelsior and its related entities, including the Buffalo Surgery Center and Northtowns Orthopaedics,” the company said in a filing with the Maine Attorney General’s Office this week.

The potentially compromised data includes names, addresses, dates of birth, Social Security numbers, driver’s license numbers, medical record numbers, diagnosis information, treatment details, health insurance information, and biometric information.

They're offering her free credit monitoring. Because of course they are. I can't even count the number of those we've been offered just in the past year from various banks, insurance companies and health providers getting their asses handed to them. I almost wonder if CyberScout is secretly behind all these break-ins, since every time somebody gets hit with one, they get hired to clean up the mess and make boatloads of money. 

Fuck it. Next time, just send me ten bucks. I'll monitor my own credit, thanks.

Comments

[weofodthignen]

Sober stand-up - good idea.

Sorry to hear about both the deaths and the hackings. :-(