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captainsblogChapter 14.2.05- How to Use a Drive-Thru
* Generally, just because there are multiple lines for cars outside, that does not translate into extra staff processing those transactions inside. Therefore, it would be helpful to all of those behind and to either side of you ::waves impatiently:: if you would take your multiple transactions, your wads of small bills, and your requests for expert customer service INSIDE.
* If the drive-thru in question involves a pneumatic tube of any sort, it is not necessary to send the empty container back through the tube when you are done. In fact, all the rest of us would prefer if you didn't.
* Do not act like Stanley. Stanley was the [insert ethnic group historically associated with dimness and a specific local suburb known for strip malls and pink flamingos] who decided to get a full makeover. He chose to go Italian- replacing his 80's K-car with a Trans Am, buying a bunch of gold jewelry at the kiosk, greasing back his hair, and working diligently on his pronunciation. Finally, he decided to try it out, hitting the first drive-thru he came to. "Yo! Gimme a double cheeseburger, large fries and a biggie pop." "You dumb dupa, you're not fooling anyone with that getup," replied the squawkbox. Stanley sighed and said, "What gave me away, dere?"
"This is a bank."
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Chapter 7.3.41- How to piss off an entire room at your/your client's bankruptcy hearing:
* Offer up a torn, barely legible original of the only document the hearing officer is required to collect and retain from you, give him 'tude when he asks you to fill out another one, and then piss everybody off by asking for an adjournment so the other lawyer you appeared for can submit a new one him/herself instead of YOU submitting one. This is a real good way to ease the distress of all the first-time clients in the room, seeing the hearing officer (genuinely a nice guy) have to beat you down over it right before their one-time hearings get called.
* If your disability really does require you to sail in on one of those motorized Rascal scooters, be sure to turn the backup indicator sound all the way to eleven, and then go backwards when your case is called. After all the hundreds of times I've heard trustees ask debtors if they have any personal injury claims against anybody, I came the closest as ever today to being able to hear the answer, "You just saw one!" Fortunately, you got out without any major damage to either your case or the room, so now go back to your Town Hall meeting on your Rascal, complaining about Obama getting his Socialist hands on your Medicare.
----
Chapter 5.47- The Only Way to Get Peace and Quiet at this Hour:
*Feed the damn animals.
* Generally, just because there are multiple lines for cars outside, that does not translate into extra staff processing those transactions inside. Therefore, it would be helpful to all of those behind and to either side of you ::waves impatiently:: if you would take your multiple transactions, your wads of small bills, and your requests for expert customer service INSIDE.
* If the drive-thru in question involves a pneumatic tube of any sort, it is not necessary to send the empty container back through the tube when you are done. In fact, all the rest of us would prefer if you didn't.
* Do not act like Stanley. Stanley was the [insert ethnic group historically associated with dimness and a specific local suburb known for strip malls and pink flamingos] who decided to get a full makeover. He chose to go Italian- replacing his 80's K-car with a Trans Am, buying a bunch of gold jewelry at the kiosk, greasing back his hair, and working diligently on his pronunciation. Finally, he decided to try it out, hitting the first drive-thru he came to. "Yo! Gimme a double cheeseburger, large fries and a biggie pop." "You dumb dupa, you're not fooling anyone with that getup," replied the squawkbox. Stanley sighed and said, "What gave me away, dere?"
"This is a bank."
----
Chapter 7.3.41- How to piss off an entire room at your/your client's bankruptcy hearing:
* Offer up a torn, barely legible original of the only document the hearing officer is required to collect and retain from you, give him 'tude when he asks you to fill out another one, and then piss everybody off by asking for an adjournment so the other lawyer you appeared for can submit a new one him/herself instead of YOU submitting one. This is a real good way to ease the distress of all the first-time clients in the room, seeing the hearing officer (genuinely a nice guy) have to beat you down over it right before their one-time hearings get called.
* If your disability really does require you to sail in on one of those motorized Rascal scooters, be sure to turn the backup indicator sound all the way to eleven, and then go backwards when your case is called. After all the hundreds of times I've heard trustees ask debtors if they have any personal injury claims against anybody, I came the closest as ever today to being able to hear the answer, "You just saw one!" Fortunately, you got out without any major damage to either your case or the room, so now go back to your Town Hall meeting on your Rascal, complaining about Obama getting his Socialist hands on your Medicare.
----
Chapter 5.47- The Only Way to Get Peace and Quiet at this Hour:
*Feed the damn animals.
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no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 10:36 pm (UTC)I have honestly never seen anyone send the little cylinder BACK when they were done. Did that really happen?! How can anyone be that dim?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 10:40 pm (UTC)At least they didn't either (a) drive off with it or (b) drive off themselves leaving their cash IN it. There are previous entries in the manual about not doing either of those things.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 01:58 am (UTC)