In honor of Sir Elton's Appearance at Lord Drugster's Fourth Wedding:

[captainsblog]

Props to Gawker for crashing the party, but thumbs down to Reginald for selling out to Limbaugh:

(to the tune of this, since I never know WHO knows what song I'm riffing on:)

I've been syndicated
Since '88
I make my money
Spewing fear and hate

Obama thinks
I'm just a spiteful hack
But Viagra stock is rising
Now the groom is back

(oh oh oh)

My pill jar's getting empty, that's alright
I send my maid to buy them on a Saturday night
I got scrips to last me for eternity
I get high on oxycontins here at E.I.B.

CHORUS

I'm the groom, I'm the groom,
Yeah the groom is back
My fourth time at the altar as a matter of fact
I can marry again, cause I'm straighter than you
It's unfair but it's true, hypocritical, too

(oh oh oh)

I marry when I get the itch
Tire quick, then drop the bitch
My family values are a little bit whacked
It's okay if you're Republican, the groom gets back

(repeat chorus)