On the next Peoples Court: The Case of the Violating Vodka!

[captainsblog]

Somehow, God bless me (and He does:), I got through all of my appointments and commitments today, filing and paying and what-have-you, and even getting home from it all early enough to pick up a pill for Tasha's annual vet checkup tomorrow morning and to do cardio before Eleanor got home. Having said that, if I was still facing a 9-12 hour day of depositions tomorrow, I probably would've just booked a basement-level room, six feet long by six feet under, at Mount Hope Cemetery tomorrow and oozed into it at the end of the day. Instead, I am blessedly free!, to catch up on the past two days spent almost entirely out of office, to accompany Eleanor as we take Tasha to the vet, and generally to relax for an occasional second.

This day off came at a price, though, and not one that I had to pay.

We often use an expression to describe a situation where something has resulted which, while not perfect, is certainly above our minimal expectations. Such-and-such, we will say, beats a sharp stick in the eye. I used those very words about 24 hours ago, speaking to Eleanor about something-or-other. When I arrived at my opposing counsel's office this afternoon to pick up documents for tomorrow's all-day hearing, I was told of an email sent to me while I was out. Which the phone had, at some point, pulled in:



Ray. I'm going to have to reschedule depos. Went mtn biking yesterday and took a stray branch in the eye. Spent all night at ER, supposed to meet w/ specialist today.



I'm told he's better this afternoon, and I wouldn't wish that sort of pain on anyone, but sheesh.  Let's see if the power still holds:

"IT SURE BEATS EVERY IDIOT REPUBLICAN ON THE PLANET DYING IN A FIRE."

::goes, checks::

Ah, well....

----

First stop of the day was a routine hearing in small claims court. I was the second on the calendar. The first was the far more interesting one, though.

Small claims here, like most such courts post-Wapner, are heavily influenced by those long-televised proceedings, even though the original Peoples Court Judge, and his far more charismatic bailiff Rusty, long ago left the building. I recall the cases on the original show having Clever Names You Wish They'd Never Thought Of, which seemed better for ratings than Piscitelli v. Lake Shore Central School District.  So it would've been today, if I'd spent my Ten Minutes With Wapner (more like 30, by the time the dust all settled) with this fascinating case of indignation, entitlement, and helicopter parents in need of a 747.

Mrs. P (not her real name) sued Mr. Moore (his real name but probably misspelled) for damages resulting from him finking on her high-school-age daughter's conduct during the school's unfortunate February journey to Europe- senior trip, music-department outing, whatever. State law limits claims against actual municipal units, which is probably why Mr. M. caught the brunt of these helicopter blades. Seems that their daughter Hannah (her real name) signed the usual Good Conduct Contract that we've signed dozens of times when Emily has gone downtown to a theater or somesuch- requiring the student to be fetched, at the parents' expense, if any bad behavior results. In this case, the BB was a bit further down the road (it was somewhere in France), so the cost of fetching Hannah was a bit higher than a cab ride from Sheas.  Yet that wasn't Mrs. P's only claim for damage. No, she wanted the pro-rated portion of the remaining journey through Europe that her Little Darling missed out on because she'd been sent home early.

What was the offense in question? Amazingly, it was virtually stipulated that Hannah had been doing Smirnoff Ice shots with her buds- "only five percent alcohol, Judge," Mom claimed- and the drinking age in France is lower, dontcha know. Plus everybody does it. And Johnny Jones was jumping off the Empire State Building smoking pot in HIS hotel room and HE didn't get sent home.

No shit, this lady actually referred to this no-alcohol pledge in the "contract" as "arbitrary and capricious."  Who, other than a lawyer, talks crap like that?

The district sent Mr. Moore, and two other teachers, during school hours, to combat this nonsense. Yes, everybody else who got caught was sent home. Yes, they found empty bottles in Hannah's possession. No, there hadn't been any of the other alleged untoward conduct which made their treatment of Princess H. to be arbitrary and ohIcantevensayitagain.

The judge reserved decision- almost the universal procedure on account of a long history of plaintiff-defendant fistfights resulting from announcements on the record (the small claims section in Rochester City Court actually has separate waiting rooms for plaintiffs and defendants), but if Mrs. P prevails on this claim, I shall eat my hat after slathering it in Smirnoff Ice.

Comments

[whyaduck.livejournal.com]

Your wish was worth a shot.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Absolut-ly;)

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

After someone was awarded a couple mil vs her dentist for the loss of her psychic powers when he filled a tooth, I have given up assuming anything about jury decisions. Judges, hopefully, might be closer to reality.