Why are there no THIRD Amendment wackos?

[captainsblog]

It definitely gets short shrift amongst all the other screaming going on: "So what if Obama's not forcing us to quarter his soldiers? HE COULD!!!"

Oh well. Today we get enough crazy without even getting to the bottom of the first tablet.


College Coach Praises Football Team Members for Stealing Copies of Campus Newspaper

Bad: Texas A&M-Commerce players busted with drugs. Worse: players take every copy on campus of the school newspaper running the story. Worserer: coach is proud of their "team-building exercise."

Last year we named Montana's Bobby Hauck the football coach who least served the interests of student journalism (he instructed his players to stop talking to reporters, and in response, the school paper began covering Montana's opponents). Well, 2010's got a frontrunner, in Texas A&M-Commerce coach Guy Morriss.

It started in January, when a high school recruit got sick after smoking marijuana with some Lions players. The next month, an undercover sting led to the arrests of two players for possession. The East Texan, as any good student newspaper would, made it front page news in their Feb. 25 edition.

Like many newspapers, it found no readers. This time not because the Internet is destroying advertising, but because members of the football team prowled the campus at dawn, stealing every copy of the paper they could find. About 2,000 in total. Here's a local TV report with surveillance footage of them doing it.

What follows is a war of quotes, each more spectacular than the last. First, coach Morriss said he's "proud of [his] players for doing that. This was the best team building exercise we have ever done."

Following that, attention focused on Morriss as the ringleader. As Athletic Director Carlton Cooper said, "I don't think [the players] are smart enough to do this on their own."

In a meeting with campus police, Morriss said there's nothing wrong with taking multiple copies of the paper; after all, they're free.



It remains to be seen if Morriss will be hired by the insurance industry to steal all evidence of popular support for health care reform.

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"Gimme a venti mocha and fast or I'll blow your head off"

Starbucks Corp. and some other chain stores in the U.S. are finding themselves caught in the middle of a firearms debate, as gun-control advocates go up against a burgeoning campaign by gun owners to carry holstered pistols in public places.

The "open carry" movement, in which gun owners carry unconcealed handguns as they go about their everyday business, is loosely organized around the country but has been gaining traction in recent months. Gun-control advocates have been pushing to quash the movement, including by petitioning the Starbucks coffee chain to ban guns on its premises.

Businesses have the final say on their property. But the ones that don't opt to ban guns—such as Starbucks—have become parade grounds of sorts for open-carry advocates.

Starbucks on Wednesday, while bemoaning being thrust into the debate, defended its long-standing policy of complying with state open-carry weapons laws, in part by stating that its baristas, or "partners," could be harmed if the stores were to ban guns. The chain said that in the 43 states where open carry is legal, it has about 4,970 company-operated stores.

The company added: "The political, policy and legal debates around these issues belong in the legislatures and courts, not in our stores."

In 29 states, it's legal to openly carry a loaded handgun, without any form of government permission. Another 13 allow an unconcealed loaded handgun with a carry permit, according to opencarry.org, which is a loosely organized Web forum for the movement.

In California, where it's legal to carry a gun openly without a license in most places as long as it's unloaded, growing numbers of armed people have been turning up at Starbucks, restaurants, and retailers, with handguns holstered to their belts to protest what they contend are unfair limits on permits to carry a concealed weapon.



I'm sure the Nuts Running America will think me a nervous pussy for feeling this way, but I'd be reallllll cautious about mixing loaded unconcealed weapons with coffee jitters. Because while my one hand is steady as a rock, after a couple of frapuccinos, I'm about as deadly as the Waco Kid:

Watch on YouTube

Frankly, Mr. Heston, I'd rather play chess.