Murder Most Fowl
Feb. 27th, 2010 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captainsblogOne of the things I didn't get to in the past few days, that Eleanor just did, was deboning the remainder of a chicken she roasted a few nights ago. While I didn't do the dirty work, I did report that I'd at least worked out the chickie's epitaph:
Here lies Maya,
Soothe your broken hearts,
'Cause when it's all over,
Parts is parts.
She busted up and asked me to post it. It will require some explanation to prevent it from being a "location joke."
"Maya" is our term of endearment for any of the various brands of free-rangesque chickens that Wegmans sells, which we much prefer to the usual pedestrian Purdues. These chickens aren't just free-range; they're unionized. Mints are put on their pillows when they lay an egg. And most importantly, not only are they not confined to inhumane cages at night, but they are personally tucked into down-free Snuggies every night and read bedtime poems by Maya Angelou herself until they gently fall asleep.
As for the last line, well,.... I guess Wendy said it best:
----
The PETA-style parody I didn't tell Eleanor about, until now anyway, was the one based on this week's unfortunate incident at Sea World. Since that theme park chain's not the only one that exploits the species, I'm wondering if our local whale prison will catch the wave, as it were:
There's a place I know in Ontario
Where the whales like to eat you nice and slow
Your summer activity
Is just their captivity
DON'T MESS WITH MARINE LIFE
They are predators and intelligent
And you better believe they pick up your scent
Now you know that they say,
"You'll look good on the buffet,"
DON'T MESS WITHHHHH..... MARINE LIFE!
Here lies Maya,
Soothe your broken hearts,
'Cause when it's all over,
Parts is parts.
She busted up and asked me to post it. It will require some explanation to prevent it from being a "location joke."
"Maya" is our term of endearment for any of the various brands of free-rangesque chickens that Wegmans sells, which we much prefer to the usual pedestrian Purdues. These chickens aren't just free-range; they're unionized. Mints are put on their pillows when they lay an egg. And most importantly, not only are they not confined to inhumane cages at night, but they are personally tucked into down-free Snuggies every night and read bedtime poems by Maya Angelou herself until they gently fall asleep.
As for the last line, well,.... I guess Wendy said it best:
----
The PETA-style parody I didn't tell Eleanor about, until now anyway, was the one based on this week's unfortunate incident at Sea World. Since that theme park chain's not the only one that exploits the species, I'm wondering if our local whale prison will catch the wave, as it were:
There's a place I know in Ontario
Where the whales like to eat you nice and slow
Your summer activity
Is just their captivity
DON'T MESS WITH MARINE LIFE
They are predators and intelligent
And you better believe they pick up your scent
Now you know that they say,
"You'll look good on the buffet,"
DON'T MESS WITHHHHH..... MARINE LIFE!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-02-28 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-28 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-28 03:54 am (UTC)I really hope I don't end up earwormed by that tune when I try to go to bed in a few minutes. But I fear it's already too late!