Merry Christmas, dammit!

[captainsblog]

Somebody on my Flist posed the question the other day that's often asked this time of year: what's everybody's opinions about overt religious displays at work?

I have pretty well-set feelings about this issue, but I've never really written them down in any cohesive form, so I've decided to make my first official Office Policy. Since I have no employees at the moment, I don't think it will cause anybody any grief, but unless one of you can talk me out of it, I fully intend to keep these ideas in place when my business has grown enough to have other people hanging around.

To: Employees
From: Ray
Re: Holiday Decorations, Music and Themes

Now that we're past Thanksgiving, it's time to get ready for the upcoming holidays. We will begin setting out decorations on December ___, and mailing the cards (which we picked out months ago) the following Monday. This is a joyous and festive time of year, but it is also very busy and not without divisiveness, so I have set forth these guidelines to help ensure that everyone feels included and appreciated in their choices of celebration.

1) All expressions of all faiths, beliefs or even non-beliefs are welcomed here, short of outright proselytizing of fellow workers. You may decorate the common areas, and your own work station, with whatever symbols of the season- be it Christmas, Festivus, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice or just plain secular winter- that add meaning to YOU and beauty to the overall presentation of this time of year. (Notice I listed those alphabetically; blame the Greeks, Larry Keefe's family and the Maccabeeans for the order of the first three.) Likewise, music played at firm events, or as background through the office or at your work area, may include any or all of the centuries of sacred music and recent years of secular songs that have become part of our shared traditions. (Exception: if Bruce Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is coming to town" is played more than once, the instigator will be fired, if not shot.) All of these efforts should be made in something resembling harmony, and keeping in mind the overall spirit of this season, whatever your beliefs.

2) The foregoing policy will be in effect beginning with the start of decorations on December ___, unless any one of you feels, for any reason, that specific reference to a religion, or to religious beliefs in general, is offensive to you. A signed note or email to that effect, which will be kept confidential, must be in my inbox by 5 p.m. that previous day. We will immediately drop all non-secular decorations, songs and other expressions of the time of the season from our holiday observances, and nobody other than me, and you, will know you to be the cause of it.

3) Beliefs, or even non-beliefs, do come with a price, however, and this is yours, if you should exercise the foregoing option. You want out of Christmas? You got it- and everything that goes with it. That includes participation in any holiday functions sponsored by the office (you will not be docked pay but you will be expected to leave), and of greatest significance, it includes any implicit benefit to you from having a paid holiday as a result of things you do not believe in.

4) You have three choices with regard to the observance of December 25. You can take a vacation or personal day if you have one remaining. Whether you do or not, I would encourage this second choice: since you do not observe Christmas, but you are otherwise a decent human being (or I would not have hired you), you may devote at least four hours of that day to volunteering in our community to help, or substitute for, people who do. Serve at a soup kitchen. Volunteer at a hospital to relieve a non-medical worker for the day. Shovel an elderly neighbor's walk and take them to the grocery store (the day before will count just fine). Get into the holiday spirit that's even bigger than the Christ in Christmas or the pole in Festivus. Be a mensch, if Hanukkah's your thing. No approvals or reports are required; I will take you at your word that you intend to do this and will assume without checking that you've done it, and if you burn in hell for lying to me, that's gonna be the least of your problems, anyway.

5) If, by the payroll cutoff before December 25, you do not tell me you are doing one of these two things, you get the day off without pay. What, you thought it was a holiday or something?

Comments are encouraged, or I'll have to link this to a poll, the only sure way of finding out anything around here...

Comments

[thanatos-kalos.livejournal.com]

Sounds fine to me, though I always worked holidays since I don't celebrate anything really-- my Yule is a quick libation and I'm done. (Also, frequently time and a half :).

I do, however, have a deep and abiding loathing for most Xmas music. *shrugs* Bah humbug, and all that. :P

[siercia]

4 & 5 should really be 3a (and maybe b) but should it be either three items or one, since it it three choices?

Otherwise, I *like* your policy.

You might also wish to offer to celebrators of non-christmas that if they volunteer on Christmas Day, they can take the Christmas holiday and apply it to another day off with pay in December to celebrate their holiday of choice - a Hannukah celebrant might appreciate a day to prepare, for instance.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

I did think of something like what you suggested for the extra day off, but the whole thing was a little too convoluted for the first time out. It'll definitely be in v. 2.0.

[ourika.livejournal.com]

So would folks who agree to celebrate the holiday in whatever they so choose get holiday pay while the person (or persons) who don't have to get no holiday pay? I'm not against that concept IF that person gets some other holiday alloted to them. I think that it would be incredibly unfair to expect them to just accept that those who are willing to celebrate some sort of religious observance in December AND are comfortable having it forced upon them at work get to have an extra holiday while those who are honest in their discomfort for holiday and all that goes with it will actually be penalized by not getting the same number of holidays that all the other employees receive. That seems discriminatory to me. I mean, everywhere I've ever worked, they've listed Christmas as a holiday, and even folks who are very open about not celebrating Christmas still get that day at holiday pay.

[siercia]

I think there's a very big difference between choosing not to celebrate a holiday and insisting that since you do not celebrate that holiday, everyone else around you must also refrain from outward public signs of that celebration - and that request that December be an entirely religious-symbol free zone for office decoration was the only thing that would trigger Christmas as a non-paid holiday. Non-participation in decorating or other celebrating would not.

[siercia]

I think there's a very big difference between choosing not to celebrate a holiday and insisting that since you do not celebrate that holiday, everyone else around you must also refrain from outward public signs of that celebration - and that request that December be an entirely religious-symbol free zone for office decoration was the only thing that would trigger Christmas as a non-paid holiday. Non-participation in decorating or other celebrating would not.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

I was about to say essentially the same thing you did, only to add that the tyranny of the minority can be just as bad as it's offered in the majority flavor. I will go out of my way to be inclusive of other peoples' sensibilities as long as they don't step on my own- AND then insist on all the social benefits that come with mine.

[troubleagain.livejournal.com]

We're not allowed "overtly religious" displays at work, but I'm not the type either. I have a sign that says "So many flakes, so little time" and window-clings for the door that say "Happy Holidays" and "Let It Snow" (ha! as if--it's FLORIDA!) and I may put up a string of lights in my office....

[luckycee.livejournal.com]

I'm all for inclusion! Bring it on.

[thunderemerald.livejournal.com]

a. In #3, don't make that Christmas-specific. Sounds too defensive.

b. I agree with the sentiment behind #4-5, but I don't think I agree with the practice, for two reasons. First, if you start doing that, you'll have to start doing the same thing with every other religious holiday during the rest of the year. Second, you're basically saying that if they don't want to work in the office, they have to work somewhere else. Sure, the idea behind it is Being A Good Person, but if it's required, it will feel like work, and that will breed resentment. There is a big difference between limiting non-secular holiday decorations (exclusion from holiday parties seems better equated), but making demands on someone's personal time is another thing entirely. Especially since the person's family might have holiday gatherings that they are expected to be present for.

c. Don't forget the O in O'Keefe. And if you want the actualy inventor of Festivus, it's Daniel O'Keefe, Senior.

[c, part 2: Daniel O'Keefe Sr. continues to amuse. "I overheard you say you were Catholic for two years... how'd that work out for you? DO TELL."]

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

I fully support the overt display of religious symbols at work.

So long as I get to decide on the religion.

When I worked at the liquor store, I used to enliven my days by writing "That is not dead which can eternal lie / And, in strange aeons, even Death may die" on the boxes in the back room.

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

well done. :)

we've decorated with poinsettias, and i am playing music at my desk. i am lucky in that mark and bill like hannukah with as much gusto as they like christmas, and the same goes for me.

did i mention i'm playing holiday music?? thanks for the roaches!!!! i love them!

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

Ray, this ROCKS. It beyond ROCKS. Did I mention it ROCKS? I would support this full-throttle, although I think my addiction to the Jolly Ole Elf might make you have to limit my work station to 20 Santa figurines.