captainsblog | You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

The word "homophobia" is a fairly recent creation, traceable to 1971 (either a book or an article, depending on what part of the Internet you believe), and while its definition is well established- the hatred or fear of homosexuality- from a literal standpoint, it means something totally different:

Greek homós: one and the same; phóbos: fear

That, I believe, is the answer to the question I've heard raised so many times in recent years, and especially in the past day since my own So-Blue-It's-Purple State of New York voted down a basic human right for a double-digit percentage of its citizens:

Why are these people so afraid of letting gay people get married to one another?

I submit that it's NOT because they're afraid of gays for being different. It's because they're afraid of their sameness. These are 38 little boys (all but two of the naysayers are male), all still stuck in their six-year-old latency periods and not sure whether if it's safe to fuck their mothers, so instead they stuck out their middle fingers and fucked everybody in this state.

An even more cynical view is that the worst of these bigots, the Family Values freaks like Larry Craig and Jimmy Swaggert, are afraid of committed long-term gay relationships because it cuts down on the number of available lays for them to pick up in motel rooms and airport loos.

They are cowards. They are chickens. As for the 30 Republicans in the State Senate, who voted in lockstep against this basic act of dignity? They are sheep. (And right now, if I were a sheep in upstate New York, I'd be more nervous than ever.)

But let's not make this a generic rant. I know some of you 38 fear-of-the-same-uals personally, or at least through people in your offices. Our local paper made a big deal out of the bill failing to pass, and that only one State Senator from Buffalo voted for it (Antoine Thompson, who just came up a notch in my book) but let the rest of them pass without telling everybody who they were. So I will.

My own state senator, Michael Ranzenhofer ("oppression of a large number of people? That IS German!")? You, sir, are a faggot.

The senator from Polonia, William Stachowski (who already sold his soul after squeaking back into office)? You, too, are a faggot.

The representative of Niagara County, George Masiarz? Faggy McFaggotson from Faggytown, Fagsylvania.

A bit to the east, and the first Republican in the roll call to set the tone, Jim Alesi? About whom it was reported that "he paused and held his head in his hands as he said 'no,'" selling out a major segment of his constituents? You, sir, are a sensitive faggot. The worst kind.

As for the rest of you traitors to my party?

Joseph Addabbo, who comes from QUEENS, for crysake?
Daniel Aubertine, whose name sounds French and we all know what THEY like to do?
Ruben Fucking Diaz, who made veiled threats at Senate leadership even after he sold the few remnants of HIS soul down the Hudson?
Shirley Huntley, the only female Democrat to sell out for the sake of a few votes?
Carl Kruger, who got the seat after Freddy sliced up his last victim?
That true champion of heterosexual family values, Hiram Monseratte?
Senator George Onorato, whose name has "rat" right in it?

Faggots, each and every one of you. Limp-wristed, light-in-the-loafers, flower-arranging faggots. (Well except for you, Shirley. You're a dyke. I'm guessing the bitch rather than the butch, because if you had any balls you wouldn't have sold out.)

There. You're out. And I am not proud.