Of course you realize this means war.
Apr. 28th, 2009 08:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captainsblogI was almost killed in my own bathtub yesterday.
Would you like to meet the homicidal maniac responsible for this?
I can't say for sure that's the exact product- it was dark and I was teetering in the tub- but it's definitely a soldier of the Olay Crime Family. As I stepped forward in the shower to turn on the water, both of my feet started skidding in opposite directions. Five forwards for the Pittsburgh Penguins will testify it was too damn slippery in there.
Olay's accomplice is a certain pink-haired 17-year-old previously chronicled in these pages. She needs it, she insists, to keep her skin from drying out. Her product of choice for this is one which (a) you are directed to spread on and then rinse off in the shower, and (b) consists, best as we can tell, of about 80 percent Vaseline and 20 percent magic potion. The latter somehow stays on her baby-soft skin. The rest of it is left behind for nefarious purposes.
Rinse the tub? Huh? Hey. I have school. I'm busy.
Turns out, this has been going on for a number of weeks- I just hadn't encountered it because of the shower schedule in the house which usually puts me either before her on early days or after her and Eleanor (who will and does rinse the crap out) the rest of the time. Mom had warned her sternly about the need to rinse and, if necessary, scrub the stuff out of the tub before somebody, like, died. Someone who was even more likely to be her, between her bad knee earlier this year and, more recently, a post-surgical phase in which she was on a showers-only regime for most of last week.
Promises were made. Promises were broken. Fortunately, no bones were. Yet.
We read her the riot act about it last night, and she promised to "compromise."
This was her compromise: when we arose this morning, she already having showered and left for school, this evidence was found at the scene of the crime:
My first reaction was to grab the offending product from the corner of the tub and make our drain all magically deliciously soft.
Nice try, Dad. She HID it.
So now I'm in serious revenge mode. And you can play, too!
[Poll #1391233]
Would you like to meet the homicidal maniac responsible for this?
I can't say for sure that's the exact product- it was dark and I was teetering in the tub- but it's definitely a soldier of the Olay Crime Family. As I stepped forward in the shower to turn on the water, both of my feet started skidding in opposite directions. Five forwards for the Pittsburgh Penguins will testify it was too damn slippery in there.
Olay's accomplice is a certain pink-haired 17-year-old previously chronicled in these pages. She needs it, she insists, to keep her skin from drying out. Her product of choice for this is one which (a) you are directed to spread on and then rinse off in the shower, and (b) consists, best as we can tell, of about 80 percent Vaseline and 20 percent magic potion. The latter somehow stays on her baby-soft skin. The rest of it is left behind for nefarious purposes.
Rinse the tub? Huh? Hey. I have school. I'm busy.
Turns out, this has been going on for a number of weeks- I just hadn't encountered it because of the shower schedule in the house which usually puts me either before her on early days or after her and Eleanor (who will and does rinse the crap out) the rest of the time. Mom had warned her sternly about the need to rinse and, if necessary, scrub the stuff out of the tub before somebody, like, died. Someone who was even more likely to be her, between her bad knee earlier this year and, more recently, a post-surgical phase in which she was on a showers-only regime for most of last week.
Promises were made. Promises were broken. Fortunately, no bones were. Yet.
We read her the riot act about it last night, and she promised to "compromise."
This was her compromise: when we arose this morning, she already having showered and left for school, this evidence was found at the scene of the crime:
My first reaction was to grab the offending product from the corner of the tub and make our drain all magically deliciously soft.
Nice try, Dad. She HID it.
So now I'm in serious revenge mode. And you can play, too!
[Poll #1391233]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-04-28 03:12 pm (UTC)Its hard to come up with good revenge without the actual lotion in hand, I gotta admit. Grr.
"Sorry, I can't drive you to *insert important teenage OMG thing* because I pulled my groin (gotta say groin, too, it'll embarrass her) in the shower when you didn't rinse it out." This sounds like my father, so I would guess it would be appropriate.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-28 03:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-28 08:58 pm (UTC)Seriously, Dove is much less likely to kill you. Have her try that for a while. The "Go Burst" scent is really great.