captainsblog | Since the standoff is finally over,...

... and since it's a good five months until the real official one, I hereby proclaim next Sunday, April 19th as

INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A SOMALI PIRATE DAY!

"Avast thar, ye American flag-flyin' posers! Arr! We're takin yer vessel and claim all yer booty fer ransom!"

----

(several hours later:)

"Erm, Cap'n Jack?"
"Yes, malarkey?"
"They're not sposed to be fighting back, are they? Thems French and Arabs didn't fight back now."

----

(following the retreat to the lifeboat with the single hostage:)

"Arr, arr, that'll teach yas! We'll hang yer cap'n from the highest yardarm!"
"Cap'n Jack, sir?"
"Yes, malarkey?"
"It's a lifeboat. It hasn't GOT a yardarm."
"That's mutiny talk, matey! I command ye to walk the plank!"
"Cap'n Jack, sir?"
"Yes, malarkey?"
"It's a lifeboat. It hasn't...."
"ARRRRRR, shut up already!"

----

(The pirates engage the USS Bainbridge):

"Stand and deliver! We're the fiercest band of pirates ever to roam the Somali coast!"

"::koff:: You look like the fiercest band we've seen since they covered 'In the Navy' on the Muppet Show!"

----

(After a few more days go by on the lifeboat:)

"Still no sign of the ransom, Cap'n Jack! How long is it?"
"That's rather personal."

----

(At last the SEALs show up to put these idiots out of their misery:)

"Arr! What's that hostage doing going over the side again?"
"Swimming!"
"I can SEE that!"
"Cap'n Jack, sir?"
"Yes, malarkey?"
"Can you see those BULLETS, too?"

Arr Aye Pee, asspiratehats.