Funny. I thought "Don't ask, don't tell" meant something else.

[captainsblog]

Despite the faltering economy, our junk mail volume continues unabated, and if anything has increased in the past few months.

Part of it is AARP continuing to hound me for membership. I've called in an effort to head off any more of that. We'll see.

The latest, though, seems to be in honor of Emily having just turned 17. The first came the other day. Last night's pile brought this WOW REAL COOL solitication on the outside of the envelope:



Laptops. Headsets. Hot chicks. What high-tech employer in Warminster PA could be hiring?



The Navy, is who.

Look. I know I have some military people here, active to retired, and I love and respect the work. But enough with the stealth and the bullshit ad campaign. At least they made the mail come from a town named after WAR, so it's not a total fake.

Saturday Night Live once did a parody of the Navy's "it's not a job, it's an adventure" ads, showing enlisted men swabbing decks, peeling potatoes, cleaning toilets and doing calisthenics, all with a disco beat booming underneath and ending with the tag line, "it's not a job, it's $87.76 a week."

And that was after Vietnam, when there wasn't actually a fucking war on.

So go ahead. Solicit my kid. But do it honestly, plzkthnx.

Comments

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

A) If it's the American Association of Retired Persons, why do they start chasing us at 55? More non-truth in advertising!

B) My brother signed up with the Air Force, a long long time ago. He reported that, as they ran past the new recruits still in mufti getting off their bus, they would sing "Rainbow, Rainbow, don't be blue, Our recruiter screwed us too!"

C) A member of my church is in fact a recruiter. He reports that 90% of the people who attempt to join up are defective in some way -- health, intelligence, prison record. So I can see how the Navy might be desperate and underhanded.

I especially like "What will your specialty be?" Like you can just choose.

[targaff.livejournal.com]

I was looking at that and thinking "Wait, Southampton was named after a war?"

I assume they need people who are more attentive than me in the navy...

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

Recruiting ads have long been something that Bill and I have laughed at. When Bill was in Iraq, the "An Army of One" campaign was big. I told him to tell his CO that if it was an Army or One, they clearly didn't need Bill, so he could come home.