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captainsblogMy undergraduate alma mater has been spamming me fiercely the past few weeks. Part of this is due to almost all of my graduating class turning 50 this year; they want to turn these happy moments into an off-year opportunity to hit us up for money at rah-rah sporting events. The bigger issue, though, is that the university's multi-billion dollar endowment has tanked in recent months, so they need more money for operating expenses. (Not that these schools ever took any of their double-digit profits out of the endowment to stave off double-digit tuition increases when their investments were doing far better than expected. /rant)
So our dear President sent a email today to explain all the tough choices being made in these bleak times. My favorite reference among them was to the school's sad decision concerning hiring. Not to a hiring freeze, mind you; Ithaca, New York is cold enough even in the summertime. (I once heard a forecast of snow over the adjoining Finger Lake for the evening of the Fourth of July.) No, but rather: "While the administration recognizes that some of these cuts will result in additional job losses, the priority is to avoid layoffs whenever possible. Initial efforts focused on instituting an external hiring pause, which now has been extended to June 30, 2009."
A "pause." Isn't that pleasant? And for current workers, if things get worse, the English department is working on appropriate phraseology for the next round of departures. Current candidates to replace "laid off" include "premature evacuation," "any excuse for a farewell lunch," and the slight yet comforting variant of "got laid."
(Eleanor, who I read the email to, thought it might have said "hiring paws," in an effort to highlight the excellent reputation of our veterinary school.)
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These slight verbal burbles pop up in other places among the Richer and More Famous. In my humble neighborhood, for-sale signs are quite plentiful, even in the dead of winter, and come-on cappers to those signs are quick to appear when the house isn't quick to sell. "MUST SEE INSIDE!" is a common one, but in these times the most popular is "PRICE REDUCED!"
Except among the higher set. At the far and far more fashionable end of Rochester's Elmwood Avenue- the section down by the Soopah Excloosive Country Club of Rochester- it's nothing but large homes on large lots, and there's nothing McAnything about the mansions. One of them had been for sale for months- once owned by a long-ago client of my original firm, and a home Eleanor once did work at in one of her long-past jobs. It finally sold, according to the sign I saw last week, but for weeks before that, to attract interest in it, the realtor put a capper atop the sign which read, "PRICE ADJUSTED."
No exclamation point. It's Pittsford, don't you know.
Still, I'm glad it sold. I wouldn't have wanted the current owner to have their bank do a permanent prejudicial modification on their mortgage, resulting in their having to seek out informal transient living arrangements.
So our dear President sent a email today to explain all the tough choices being made in these bleak times. My favorite reference among them was to the school's sad decision concerning hiring. Not to a hiring freeze, mind you; Ithaca, New York is cold enough even in the summertime. (I once heard a forecast of snow over the adjoining Finger Lake for the evening of the Fourth of July.) No, but rather: "While the administration recognizes that some of these cuts will result in additional job losses, the priority is to avoid layoffs whenever possible. Initial efforts focused on instituting an external hiring pause, which now has been extended to June 30, 2009."
A "pause." Isn't that pleasant? And for current workers, if things get worse, the English department is working on appropriate phraseology for the next round of departures. Current candidates to replace "laid off" include "premature evacuation," "any excuse for a farewell lunch," and the slight yet comforting variant of "got laid."
(Eleanor, who I read the email to, thought it might have said "hiring paws," in an effort to highlight the excellent reputation of our veterinary school.)
----
These slight verbal burbles pop up in other places among the Richer and More Famous. In my humble neighborhood, for-sale signs are quite plentiful, even in the dead of winter, and come-on cappers to those signs are quick to appear when the house isn't quick to sell. "MUST SEE INSIDE!" is a common one, but in these times the most popular is "PRICE REDUCED!"
Except among the higher set. At the far and far more fashionable end of Rochester's Elmwood Avenue- the section down by the Soopah Excloosive Country Club of Rochester- it's nothing but large homes on large lots, and there's nothing McAnything about the mansions. One of them had been for sale for months- once owned by a long-ago client of my original firm, and a home Eleanor once did work at in one of her long-past jobs. It finally sold, according to the sign I saw last week, but for weeks before that, to attract interest in it, the realtor put a capper atop the sign which read, "PRICE ADJUSTED."
No exclamation point. It's Pittsford, don't you know.
Still, I'm glad it sold. I wouldn't have wanted the current owner to have their bank do a permanent prejudicial modification on their mortgage, resulting in their having to seek out informal transient living arrangements.