I fought City Hall.... to a draw:P

[captainsblog]

You might remember- oh hell, you don't, but here's a link to it- that getting outta here for my Road Trip last month was a major PITA. I couldn't leave for Points East until delivering documents to two offices on that final morning, and the deliveries, on a Bad Hair Parking Day, resulted in three different bitchouts at me to move my car from illegal parking spots. I reported at the time, though, that I'd escaped all three of them unscathed.

Or not, as it turned out.

Monday's mail brought notice of an impending default on a "ticket" supposedly delivered to me, at the third of those stops, by one L. Rita, Meter Maid, who I'd encountered on my way into my second delivery in her goofy little golf cart, and who was gesticulating wildly at my car, not two minutes later, once I returned empty-handed from it. Arright, arright, I'll move the damn thing, I called out to her as she leaned over my windshield. That moment was apparently enough to capture my registration barcode, and I was now suddenly facing a doubling of the fine on account of not answering the undelivered summons.

I had other business downtown today, so I paid for plenty of parking and made it my business to contest the charges in the bowels of City Hall.

Unlike several prior occasions over the past few years, there was a queue.  Hear now the even more egregious tales of those in line before me:



This guy, closest in age to me, was also the most prepared for the battle he needed to do. His car had been stolen, and the thief then helpfully left it in various illegal spots where it acquired tickets and, in time, resulted in his registration being suspended.  Did he have his police report for the theft? Why, yes he did.  Many minutes of processing later, the City did indeed recognize his complete defense to the charges and voided out the parking fines. But. He was still obliged to head across the hall to the cashier to pay the mandatory $90 DMV charge for reinstating his registration, because they're the city and they can't waive that.

Makes perfect sense, right?





Our next contestant was a bit younger, and a fair piece louder, than stolen car guy.  His story was this: Buffalo had towed his car on account of some unspecified infraction. He'd claimed it from the impound yard, paid them the towing and impound fees, and asked the tow guys if that was all there was. Check with Parking Violations, he was told- and he did- and someone, in that same queue I was in two weeks later, told him he was all clear.  Whereupon, they naturally sent him the same default notice I'd received, with the ticket fee doubled, because he hadn't paid it in either of his two attempts to do so.  I watched, with a deer-in-headlight look, as the employee told him, basically, he'd come downtown too soon: Well, it takes a few days for tickets to get down here, so you should have checked again in a few days to make sure. Nobody was fazed by his attempts to have done so, or by the fact that he was assured, by an unfortunately anoymous counterperson, that he was in the clear. They offered him a hearing, but he'd already lost half a day's pay from work to deal with the fine and couldn't risk not getting back to work in time for the second half. So he sucked it up and paid.





Dude the Third arrived at counter before either of the others, but was the least prepared- all HE knew was they'd suspended his registration.  It ultimately got pinned down to a ticket in front of a downtown hotel.  Ah- THAT, he remembered.  He'd parked in a "hotel guest only" space while checking in, and a gung-ho cop wrote him up as he was registering.  A hotel employee told the cop he'd just registered, and he moved his car to the permit-only space that his just-issued permit would protect him in. But alas, the permit was only good for the overnight spaces, and, after 20 minutes and a call to someone, the city maintained its position that hey, WE don't know if that guy in a bellhop uniform is an authorized representative of the hotel or not, and you should've shown the cop something in writing and yadda yadda yadda. This guy was the loudest and angriest of the three, and partly because of why he was at that hotel in the first place. He was going to a party somewhere downtown that night, and didn't want to risk driving home drunk to North Buffalo, so he booked a room and got a $100-plus unreward for it by the time all the penalties got tacked on.





At last it was my turn. I calmly told the civil servant that I hadn't received the ticket, that I hadn't been "parking" at the time, but that I'd explain it all to the hearing officer rather than wasting her time.

She smiled sweetly. But you're not Eleanor, are you?

Erm, no. Strictly speaking, the car I drive is hers, just as the truck she drives (and the car Emily drives) are mine.

You need to have the owner's notarized authorization to appear on her behalf. Here's the form in triplicate.

I tried another tacky tack: But I'm an attorney. Hell, I'm HER attorney.

Nada.  Likewise reminding them that I've beaten raps involving this car on at least two prior occasions.



There's no-one left alive - must be draw.
So the blackcap barons toss a coin to settle the score.

Much as I'm tempted to just join the other jamoches in the Bend Over Here It Comes Again line, I have the form for her to sign, we have a friend who will notarize the !@#% form on Sunday, and next time I'm down there I will shoot at it-all again.  By the third or fourth time, I'll probably have a book's worth of hideous stories about city life that will more than cover the ultimate fine if I lose:P

Comments

[puppy-ciao.livejournal.com]

The City parking magistrate dude is a jerk!! He threatened to arrest me for perjury, which makes no sense on many levels, haha...