What was REALLY going on at Netflix this week

[captainsblog]

Members of Amalgamated Brotherhood of Stuffers, Sorters and Stevedores, Local 7, form picket line at Netflix's California headquarters. Not pictured: Bashful.

LOS GATOS, CALIF (RayP)-- As normal nationwide Netflix shipping resumed late yesterday, sources revealed that the cause of the trouble was a three-day work stoppage by the dwarfs, gnomes and trolls who staff the 55 DVD distribution centers for the famed Internet movie chain.

Grumpy, spokesdwarf for Local 7 of the ABSSS, called the job action "a complete success. They've promised to install lights, pipe in reruns of Fantasy Island, and lower the urinals in all the mens' rooms."

Netflix officials received early signs of a pending job action when thousands of members reported receiving unordered copies of Norma Rae, The Grapes of Wrath and Celine Dion In Concert in their incoming red envelopes. The minions allegedly inserted union literature highlighting the deplorable working conditions, stapling them over the inner sleeve advertisements for Spiderman 3 and Superbad.

When Grumpy and several other union officials were disciplined for the wildcat action, the remainder of the little people took to the picket lines, and mounted a dedicated effort to stop the incoming flow of member returns.

"We had no problem stopping them at the mailboxes," said Local 7 assistant shop steward Dopey. "We just climbed IN the mailboxes and switched all the sleeves."

Management attempted to cope on the first day of the work stoppage by hiring cast members from the nearby filming of Night of the Living Dead 2: Electric Boogaloo. They refused to cross the picket lines, however, when the militant dwarfs shouted them down with chants of "Scabs!"

Negotiators quickly hammered out a settlement, which in addition to working condition improvements also provided workers with protection against outsourcing to droids, clones and toons; promised the removal of offensive lawn ornaments from distribution center landscaping; and offered to ship each employee one more movie today! for just 60 cents if they upgraded to the three-at-a-time package.

Comments

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

That was hilarious. I had no idea there was a problem. I'm still working on watching the movies I got a few weeks ago. Thank goodness for that "no late fee" thing.