That'll teach me.

[captainsblog]

I generally avoid Wally World in my erranding rounds. Some of it is a protest against their politics and practices, but face it, most of it is just personal preference. The store's too damn big, the parking lot's a war zone, and I'm neither stupid enough nor Spanish enough to require the directional signs in the store to show me pictures of the items being pointed to (God help us if an illiterate or Latino cannibal ever got loose in the baby food aisle).

But mostly, it's the clientele. It boils down into three basic categories: mostly-normal people (admittedly the majority), trailer trash, and East Amherst princesses making their secret weekly slumming runs. Other than the amusement that occurs when these latter two get in each others' way, I can't bear to be in the place a second longer than I have to.  In fact, about the only time I'll relent is if I can think of some combination of products I need that would take two trips to two distant outposts- such as today's run.

Emily had let the cat fud run down to a single can, and Eleanor's made so damn many grocery runs lately, I wasn't going to ask her to make yet another on her day off. Also, the knob on the cellar door broke off a few days ago, and the humidity's gone down just enough to make the door closeable again and, thus, the broken stump was in genuine need of imminent repair.

I did the mental math-

Lowes + Wegmans > 1 nose-holding trip to Mall Wart

- and got in and out with relatively little aggravation.

At first.

----

I first tended to the doorknob. It was easy, but boy had I worked up a sweat in the gym. Even the hardware smelled awful. I tried not to think prejudicial thoughts about the hygiene of the crowd in that aisle, and figured it was just me.

Then we saw Tazzer, ripping the plastic corner off the 24-can pack and chowing down on, it turned out, the source of the aroma: the upperrightmost can had exploded, probably in April from the smell of it up close.

Ewwwww.

And lucky us- the garbage just got picked up. The bouquet by next Thursday should be overpowering!

I started removing the other 23 cans, none of their perimeters breached, but all of them sharing the signs of their former common residence. I thereupon decided to abort the mission and take the whole damn thing back (including, yes, the two Snickers bars I'd treated myself to, which were suddenly MUCH less appealing) and most likely just get a refund.

That will mean the second trip after all, plus a third to Wegmans to replace the foodage, but at least I know where their food has been.

Comments

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

oh man, i feel your pain. walmart is surely one of the circles of hell.

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

Ah, sounds like your trip to hell was fun! I go to hell all the time (not sure which category I fall into), and I think a cover charge is in order. This human zoo is a hoot, esp. if the Walmart has a McD's in it, and you can sit and sip a Diet Dr. Pepper and watch the fun.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't see enough trash or tiara for the latter categories, so I'll have to wedge you into "mostly normal."

Sorry:(

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

Mostly normal???!!! Next you'll be saying I'm "Mostly Harmless"!

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Kwitcherbitchin or I'll drop the "mostly."

[thanatos-kalos.livejournal.com]

It's very interesting that you call it Wally World-- that's what NCCC's paramedic programme was nicknamed. Mine was actually the last class held there, which seems vaguely appropriate. :P