Stupid is as Stupid Does

[captainsblog]

This week's parade of potential delegates to the quadrennial Darwin Award presentation at Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania:

She Wasn't Even Amused When He Proposed in a High Squeaky Voice:

A Hackney man's girlfriend was anything but blown away she found out her £6,000 engagement ring had soared away tied to a balloon.

Hopeless romantic Lefkos Hajji, 28, wanted to surprise his girlfriend Leanne, 26, by tying the diamond ring to the neck of a balloon filled with helium.

But as soon as the floor fitter left the florist in Cockfosters, Hertfordshire, last Monday, a gust of wind dragged the balloon out of his hand and up into the sky.

Lefkos was stunned as the balloon floated further and further into the air and then the feeling of dread took over as he knew his girlfriend would not be happy.

He said Leanne went absolutely mad when she found out he had failed to find the ring after spending two hours chasing the balloon in his car.

She is now refusing to speak to him until Lefkos gets her a new ring.

Hapless Lefkos said he had been planning the proposal for quite a while and thought using the balloon was the ultimate romantic gesture.

Florist Helen Savva, who tied the sparkler to the balloon told the Gazette: "It was an unusual request, but I was just doing my job and I said to him 'hold onto it'".

The chances of Lefkos finding the ring now are pretty slim.

A spokeswoman for the Met office said that if the balloon hadn't been popped by the sun, it would probably be now floating out over the North Sea.

She said: "If it pops, someone might be very lucky. If not, there could be some very lucky fish."

A sad tale, to be sure, but I must admit that "Cockfosters" remains the best destination of a subway train on the entire planet.

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Yet Another Local Example of Unclear On The Concept:

A Clarence woman was arrested twice within two hours Sunday for drunk driving, the Erie County Sheriff’s Office said.

Hayley Love, 22, of Shimerville Road, was first arrested Sunday morning when deputies charged her with driving while intoxicated on Harris Hill Road in Clarence.

About two hours later, deputies arrested her again for DWI, this time at her boyfriend’s mother’s home.

Deputies first pulled over Love’s vehicle at about 1:30 a.m.

At the time, Love was charged with failure to stay right and DWI; her blood-alcohol level was 0.24 percent, three times the 0.08 percent limit for intoxication in New York. Deputies impounded her vehicle, and she was released to a parent.

About two hours later, at about 3:20 a.m., deputies responded to a burglary call on Hedgewood Drive in Clarence, where a woman told police that she had thrown her son out earlier in the day after a confrontation.

Deputies say her son, Andrew Apa, 23, broke into his mother’s home through a garage door. He was charged with burglary, criminal mischief, harassment, and menacing.

While at the residence, deputies said they observed Apa’s girlfriend, Love, who had been driving her father’s pick-up truck.

Deputies administered another Breathalyzer test, and this time she registered a 0.16 blood-alcohol content. Deputies arrested her again and charged her with DWI.

Love and Apa were taken to the Erie County Holding Center pending action in Clarence Town Court.

Clarence is a second-ring suburb that wants to be East Amherst when it grows up, but it contains way too much of a cousins-marrying population to ever succeed at this.

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Well, Fuck That. And An Hour Later, Fuck It Again:

Beijing University, one of China's top academic institutions, is considering a rule to ban its students from using obscenity or spreading rumors online, Xinhua reports. Rules may also affect faculty.

It's not clear if the enforcement would include any online speech by students or if it would be limited to university forums.

News of the possible regulations comes a few months after a popular student bulletin board--a physical board, not the campus BBS--was taken down by university authorities. Xinhua writes:

 The university, concerned about abusive comments and rumors on Internet forums, is considering amending its "Student Rules," which students in the university are supposed to take as moral guidance and abide by, President Xu Zhihong has told the Beijing Morning Post.

So, yeah. Cultural Revolutions and tanks in Tibet are perfectly okay as long as you're polite while you're oppressing people.

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I really had nothing to say today. Fortunately, the shallow end of the gene pool always provides for some late-night sampling.

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I love stupid people!