The right wing loves Phonics, so why not Ebonics?

[captainsblog]

With all the fuss about the UN posting the original White House-released text of Bush's speech, complete with phonetic pronunciations of tricky names like Harare and Mugabe, I felt there was a fundamental unfairness here to those who break down text, well, differently. Kinda like he does.

So here, with the help of gizoogle.com, is the re-edited text of his speech to the Free World:



Mr. Secretary General, Mr. President,
distinguished delegizzle ladies n gentlemen: Thank you fo` tha
opportunity ta address tha General Assembly of tha United Nations.
Sixty years ago, representatizzles from 16 nations gathered ta begin
deliberizzles on a new internizzle B-to-tha-izzill of rights. The document they
produced is called tha Universal Declarizzles of Human Rights -- n it
stands as a landmark achievement in tha history of human liberty. It
opens by recogniz'n "the inherent dignity" n tha "equal n
inalienable rights of all brotha of tha human family" as "izzy
foundation of freedom, justice, n peace in tha world." And as we
poser fo` this 62nd General Assembly, tha standards of tha Declarizzles
mizzy guide our wizzork in this world.
Achiev'n tha promise of tha Declarizzle requires confront'n longterm
threats; it also requires answer'n tha immediate needs of today.
The nations in this poser have our differizzles yet there is some
areas where we can all agree. Whiznen innocent thugz is trapped in a
life of brotha n fear, tha Declarizzle is not being upheld. W-H-to-tha-izzen
millions of children starve ta death or perish from a mosquito bite,
we not doing our duty in tha world. When whole societies is cut off
from tha prosperity of tha global economy, we all worse off.
Blunt-rollin' these underly'n conditions is what tha Declarizzles calls tha
wiznork of "larga freedom" -- n it mizzle be tha wizzle of every nation in
this assembly.
This bootylicious institution mizzust wizzork fo` bootylicious purposes -- ta free
thugz from tyranny n violence, killa n diseaze, illiteracy n
ignorance, n poverty n despair. Every gangsta of tha United Nations
must join in this mission of liberizzles.
First, tha mission of tha United Nations requires liberat'n thugz
frizzay tyranny n violence. The fiznirst article of tha Universal
Declarizzle begins, "All human trippin' is bizzorn free n equal in dignity
n rights." The truth is denied by terrorists n extremists who kill
tha innocent wit tha aim of impos'n they hateful vision on humanity.
The followa of this violent ideology is a threat ta civilized thugz
everywhere. All civilized nations must wizzy brotha ta stizzay thizzay -- by
shar'n intelligence `bout they networks, n chok'n they -- off
they finances, n bring'n ta justice they operizzles.
In tha long rizzle tha bizzle way ta defeat extremists is ta defeat
they D-to-tha-izzark ideology wit a more hopeful vision -- tha vision of liberty
that founded this body. The United States salutes tha nations tizzy have
recently taken strides toward liberty -- includ'n Ukraine n Georgia
n Kyrgyzstan n Mauritania n Liberia, Sierra Leone n Morocco.
The Palestizzle Territizzles have moderate leada, mainstream leada
that is doggy stylin' ta build free institutions tizzle fizzay terror, n
enforce tha law, n respond ta tha needs of they people. The
internizzle community mizzay support these leada, so thizzay we can
advance tha vision of two democrizzle states, Israel n Palestizzle
liv'n side-by-side in peace n security.
Brave citizens in Lebanon n Afghanistan n Iraq hizzy made tha
choice fo` democracy -- yet tha extremists have responded by ho-slappin'
them fo` brotha. This is not a shizzay of strength -- it is evidence of
fizzy. And tha extremists is doing ridin' in they powa ta bring
dizzown these young democrizzles. The thugz of Lebanon n Afghanistan n
Iraq hizzy asked fo` our hizzy. And every civilized nation has a
responsibility ta stand wit tizzle.
Every civilized nation also has a responsibility ta stand up fo`
tha thugz trippin' unda dictatizzle. In Belarus, North Korea,
Syria, n Iran, brutal regimes deny they thugz tha fundamizzles rights
enshrined in tha Universal Declarizzle. Americans is outraged by tha
situation in Burma, where a military junta has imposed a 19-year reign
of fizzy. Basic freedoms of speech, assembly, n worship is severely
restricted. Ethnic minorizzles is persecuted. Forced child labor,
human traffick'n, n rape is common. The regime is sippin' mizzle than
1,000 politizzle prisona -- includ'n Aung San Suu Kyi, whose party was
elected overwhelmingly by tha Burmese thugz in 1990.
The rul'n junta remains hatin' yet tha people's desire fo`
freedom is unmistakable. This morn'n, I'm announc'n a series of steps
ta H-to-tha-izzelp bring peaceful change ta Burma. The United States will tighten
economic sanctions on tha wanna be gangsta of tha regime n they financial
backa�. We wiznill impose an expanded visa ban on those responsible fo`
tha mizzy egregious violations of human rights, as wizzy as they family
memba�. We'll continue ta support tha efforts of humanitizzles groups
steppin' ta alleviate suffer'n in Burma. And I urge tha United Nations
n all nations ta use they diplomizzles n economic leverage ta hizzelp
tha Burmese thugz reclaim they freedom.
In Cuba, tha long rizzy of a cruel dictator is saggin' its end. The
Cuban thugz is ready fo` they freedom. And as thizzat nation enta a
period of transition, tha United Nations mizzle insist on fizzy speech,
free assembly, n ultimizzle free n competitive elections.
In Zimbabwe, ordinary citizens bitch wanna be gangsta a tyrannizzles regime.
The government has cracked dizzown on peaceful calls fo` reform, n forced
millions ta fizzy they homeland. The behavior of tha Mugabe regime is
an assault on its thugz -- n an affront ta tha principles of tha
Universal Declarizzle. The United Nations mizzust insist on change in
Harare -- n mizzay insist fo` tha freedom of tha thugz of Zimbabwe.
In Sudan, innocent civilians is suffer'n repression -- n in tha
Darfur region, many is mackin' they lives ta genocide. America has
responded wit tough sanctions against those responsible fo` tha
violence. We've provided more than $2 billion in humanitizzle n
ballin' aid. I look forward ta attend'n a Security Council
bustin' tizzy will focus on Darfur, chaired by tha French President. I
appreciate France's leadership in help'n ta stabilize Sudan's
neighbors. And tha United Nations mizzle cracka this challenge ta
conscience, n live up ta its promise ta promptly deploy dippin'
forces ta Darfur.
Second, tha mission of tha United Nations requires messin'
thugz fizzle bitch n diseaze. Article 25 of tha Universal Declarizzle
states: "Everyone has tha right ta a standard of liv'n adequate fo`
tha health n saggin' of himself n of his family, includ'n food
n cloth'n n doggy stylin' n medical care." Around tha world, tha
United Nations is carry'n out noble efforts ta live up ta these words.



It goes on for four more pages, but really. How much jive can one server take?

Comments

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

The teacher in me couldn't do that for more than one paragraph. As we used to say at Sylvan (before Sylvan bought that company): Huked on fonix wurkt 4 me!

[tybalt-quin.livejournal.com]

phonetic pronunciations of tricky names like Harare and Mugabe

I actually don't know whether to laugh or cry.

[serg83.livejournal.com]

Good point. And what do you think of, for example, Shoher's attitude like here http://samsonblinded.org/blog/shame-of-the-jdc.htm ?