Stardust and Suicide

[captainsblog]

I've had more than my share of good luck in the past 24-odd hours.

Tuesday brought a full-blown trial; from leaving to meet the clients at 7:30 in the morning until the proof finally closed six hours later, it was an intense experience, and hopefully one my very deserving clients did themselves proud for.

I'd hoped to follow that up on my way back yesterday by conducting a signing ceremony with another client in that general area, but he wasn't available until late today, so I spent the just-past late afternoon shlepping to and from his vicinage. Just as well, though; I learned right before leaving today, from officialgaiman, that Neil and Neal (i.e., Neal Conan ) had been suddenly rescheduled onto this afternoon's Talk of the Nation on NPR; I switched over from sports talk to WBFO just in time to begin the complete Neils' interview, and WXXI continued it seamlessly just as I passed the Livingston County line.  The interview included stories of Gaiman's involvement in the film's production; notes on some deleted scenes; and a wonderful exchange between Robert DeNiro and Ricky Gervais (who we just saw, and loved, in For Your Consideration) that alone is worth clicking two links back and then downloading the "listen" of the interview.  The film opens Friday, and I'm hoping to have seen it by the end of the weekend.

----

I was also happy not to be planning Eleanor's funeral today.

You know what a "suicide lane" is, even if you don't know it by that name: most commonly in these parts, it's the middle lane of a five-lane major highway intended solely for left turns into and out of side streets not controlled by traffic lights. They're marked, here at least, with these signs:



We're quite familiar with these from where we live, since we've learned over the past 13 years to use them, as intended, to get past oncoming traffic on both Sheridan and North Forest when we make left turns onto them from our subdivision. Etiquette requires that you sit in the "suicide lane" and wait for traffic moving your way to let you in before moving one lane to your right.

Etiquette does not require you to get the fuck out of the way of a suicidal driver coming the other way in the middle lane, using it as an extended acceleration lane for heading the opposite way. Yet that is how an elderly driver was using this lane, late yesterday morning, heading eastbound on Sheridan at the very moment Eleanor was stuck in it, waiting for westbound traffic to clear so she could merge into the flow going the other way.

Much of her life passed before her eyes before she realized, no, this old biddy coming STRAIGHT FUCKING AT HER had no clue how to navigate the eastbound lanes the biddy had just turned into. My wife's only recourse was to move to her left, i.e., into the path of eastbound oncoming traffic, and just pray that they understood the danger the old broad was causing.

They did. She got back into the lane, and ultimately into the travel lane, before anybody got hurt. But it makes you wonder: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT OLD LADY THINKING?!?

Eight or so hours later, Eleanor arrived safely home, just as I was getting to the car-chase scene in the original Bourne Identity.  Under the circumstances, I think we'll hold off on seeing Ultimatum until NEXT weekend.

Comments

[luckycee.livejournal.com]

I'll bet it took awhile for her to calm down after that. Jezus.

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, the Suicide Lane. I've had many a close, personal, cuss-like-a-sailor moment on those. I had to use one to get to the parking lot when I worked at the music store, and had to do a 'hoshit' several times.

Glad Eleanor's okay. Sounds like she needs a glass of wine, tho.

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

This is referred to the "turning lane" is these parts. My worst experience with it here is that people DON'T use it at all. Some whack-nut Virginia drivers will put on their left turn signal and sit in the left lane of their side of the highway. They completely ignore the turning lane to the left of them. And very nearly cause a 15 car pile-up. And don't get me started on elderly drivers.