Back to the Drawing Board

[captainsblog]

One unintended consequence of Ingmar Bergman's death earlier this week? The world will never know the power, the art, the utter highfaultin-inity of his interpretation of the film he was born to make:





A Burrow. Morning, dark and foggy, lit by a single candle.

ZOOM on a solitary clock, ticking nervously whilst its hands all point to MORTAL PERIL.

Pan back to reveal RON playing a solitary game of wizard chess with DEATH.

RON
Check.

DEATH
(moving King)
Nothing escapes me. No one escapes me.

FADE TO a wounded GEORGE, lying in agony upon his bed. FRED, or possibly the Ghost of FRED, encircles him. FRED's face encircles GEORGE's, finally the two becoming one, two-eared, twin.

FRED, GEORGE
(as one)
Brilliant! Now they won't be able to tell us apart again!

FADE TO a cemetery. ZOOM in on image in ancient tombstone.



VOICE
Would you please interpret this symbol, Miss Granger?

HERMIONE
But the patient is dead!

TOMBSTONE
::bursts into laughter::

FADE TO IMAGES, ONE QUICKLY AFTER ANOTHER, of other, newer tombstones in the graveyard reading
HEDWIG
DOBBY
FRED
REMUS
TONKS
CREEVEY
POTTER?!?

HARRY
Who are you?

DEATH
I am Death.

HARRY
Have you come for me?

DEATH
I have long walked by your side.

HARRY
So I have noticed.

DEATH
Are you ready?

HARRY
My body is ready, but I am not.

FADE TO BLACK.



Sheesh. And all these years I thought it was Star Wars she was ripping off.

Comments

[princesskraehe.livejournal.com]

Not surprisingly, you have been metaquoted.

[thunderemerald.livejournal.com]

*sheepishly* I don't get the reference... :(

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Wow. I thought you had to go to those art films to maintain Manhattan residence.

For what it's worth, I haven't seen any of them, either, but they're mostly from The Seventh Seal, Wild Strawberries and Cries and Whispers.

Actually, most of the good bits there are direct ripoffs from the old Second City TV piece I youtubed the other day, where the horror movie host mistakes their faux-Bergman parody Whispers of the Wolf for a scary film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ninFjxj_DQ

[thunderemerald.livejournal.com]

I am firmly defying that rule for as long as possible. I have a Blockbuster Online membership so I can get movies like Elf and School of Rock and TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY. Ooh baby.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Heh. No wonder we get along.

I mourned the death of Tom Snyder the other night by re-watching Anchorman. Bergman's funeral had to be postponed for two hours on account of the body spinning on the gurney.

[baseballchica03.livejournal.com]

Smulstronstallet is my favorite, but the person I forced it on was less than pleased with being made to watch it, he he he. :)

Also, incidentally ...

[princesskraehe.livejournal.com]

... re: your icon ...

A friend of mine summarized the book as 'Rocks fall, everyone lives.'

[roguepuppet.livejournal.com]

yep.. not a chuckle. this absolutely needs a Chortle..

We will not even go into who ripped off whom in the long modern tradition of Hero Questing...

[nycscribbler.livejournal.com]

Movie parody=brilliance.

Your username=OMG WIN SO FUCKING HARD.