To get away from all the emo, may I present something light....

[captainsblog]

or, at least, lighter....     

                                                                               ...than the stress of the past few days.


Just now, I looked down at the rollybally-kinda thin-tipped marker I've been using for the past several days, swiped from one government office or another, and saw that the logo on the side of it said

PRECISE V5

My instant series of responses to this visual stimulus was to wonder: (a) what pharmaceutical company makes this new drug; (b) what it cures; and (c) how long Lindsay Lohan has been abusing it.

In recent days, I've also been adding to my running list of stupidly-named SUVs. It's a tougher feat nowadays since there seem to be fewer of them on the road, but here are some of my recent finds to go with some previous naming idiocies. None of the new ones quite tops the infamy of the Nissan Armada, a name which evoked the ultimate in manly-manliness: death in the worst naval defeat in recorded history.  Still and all, to the ranks of the badly-named tanks, we now add:

--The Buick Rainier- I know, it's supposed to evoke the mountain near Seattle and all the phallicism that implies, but my first thought on seeing one of these monstrosities was, "Why would you want to name an SUV for a prince whose wife died in a rollover accident?"

--The Dodge Nitro- I saw my first of these deathtraps a few days ago, before getting around to watching Goldfinger last night, which began with a scene in which Sean Connery blowed up half a city block by igniting two nitroglycerin tanks. Even before that, though, I had the same thought: "Why are you marketing a vehicle based on false perceptions of safety and then naming it for a high-explosive?"

-- The Saturn Outlook- Yeah, yeah, you Saturn-worshippers think that Spring Hill plant can't do anything wrong. But here, it MIGHT not have been the best idea to word-associate your entry into the urban-assault-vehicle market with a computer program that's practically synonymous with the word "crash."

The 2008s will be here soon. Be on the lookout for the GMC Glaciermelter, The Ford Overcompensator, and the biggest one of all, naturally built by the Germans at Mercedes, the Enormous Schwanzstucker.

----

On a brighter note, I started my day just now with a compliment of sorts. I don't stray from my Friendspage all that often, since most of the other blogs I read are either on LJ (for now, anyway grrrrrrr) or I've added them through pickups of their syndication feeds. One of my favorite Met journals, the one which inspired me to begin my own last year, had a trivia question on it this morning, and in going to their actual site to answer it, I discovered they'd reorganized their blog roll....

and put my own little exercise in futility at the very top of it.

Now to go make sure that the Fundies don't interpret Metphistopheles as some sort of illegal Satanism and petition to delete the whole thing;) 

Comments

[schmedgar.livejournal.com]

I wonder of we can make money by somehow blackmailing people if we promise not to turn them in for their baby eating satan worshipping ways?

I helped host a trivia night last night. Apparently our questions were too hard.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Good thinking. I'll start checking peoples' interest lists to catch anyone listing "blenders" or "pitchforks."

(And send me an example of a "too hard" question. I've been playing trivia on AOL for close to 10 years and we're pretty darn good at tough ones.)

[schmedgar.livejournal.com]

I think that one was the name of Odin's two ravens.

I thought I was smart to know that Odin is a Norse God.

[sturgeonslawyer.livejournal.com]

Did you want the names in Norse (Mennin and Hugin) or English (Thought and Memory)?

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Silly me. I recognized the name as Norse, but still, all I could come up with for the ravens' names was "Ray Lewis" and "Willis Magahee."

Yeah, good luck with that latter one, Baltimore.

[schmedgar.livejournal.com]

apparently, we accepted both but no one told me that until the nest day. Wouldn't have change dthe outcome since most people put Hekyll and Jekyll.

[sturgeonslawyer.livejournal.com]

But they were CROWS!

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

My SUV is called an Equinox, which means I can only drive it at the change of seasons.

[bluesilverkdg.livejournal.com]

Saturn worshippers? :-P Who might that be??

So what can you come up with for Ion?

We have Outlook Express for our e-mail here at work and I HATE it. Ugh.

And I thought Ranier was a stupid name for an SUV, even before your little assessment.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Sorry. Best I can do is some lame remark about wanting to keep an Ion you;)

[sturgeonslawyer.livejournal.com]

Whereas my reaction to the Rainier was, "SUVs are supposed to be for people who like to go out doors. Wouldn't they like it sunnier instead of ranier?"

[lindapendant.livejournal.com]

V5 is precisely V8 minus three vegetables.

[luckycee.livejournal.com]

No, no, no! That's my all-time favorite PEN! I love those! Honest.