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captainsblogMea culpa- however you say that in Hebrew- for posting a big picture of a box of cookies on the first night of Passover. In an attempt at penitence, I shall now spend an entry dissing my own religion rather than anyone else's.
Come with famed director James Cameron, fresh from his uncovering of the lost tomb of the Jesus Family, as he provides amazing new evidence, all in indecipherable Aramaic, of the events of Our Lord on His final days on earth.
Not the Sunday, Thursday or Friday. Those are the ones which get all the run. But Jesus was a man of action, and to read the canonical Gospels you'd think he just hung around (oops- sorry) the rest of the week. Beginning Monday at 9, 8 central time, we present these stunning new additions to the Jesus story:
Small Claims Monday. No wonder there was no authentic mention of what Jesus did the day after arriving in the Temple and chasing out all the merchants. He spent that whole next day defending Himself on early-day televised Judge shows from claims brought by Moshe's Moneychangers and Shecky's House of Sacrifice. Caiphas, Herod and even Pilate would prove to be cake adversaries to Jesus, after listening to Judge Judy exhorting Him most of Monday, "Don't turn water into wine, pour it on my shoes and tell me that it's raining."
Tarsus Hold-Em Tuesday. Just because thirteen guys were about to face division, treachery, denial, arrest, trial and crucifixion, doesn't mean they were gonna give up their regular poker night. Gabe Kaplan guest stars as Judas, the first disciple to figure out that there really wasn't any point trying to bluff if you didn't have a good hand.
MASH Wednesday. In ancient times, these reruns were only on once a week, so the boys fired up the dish one last time for Hawkeye's message of peace and conciliation. Pilate, it turns out, was actually one of Colonel Flagg's cover names; in hindsight, someone that authoritative and yet stupid could only be CIA.
Saturday. Having seen the preview, this one now seems fairly obvious. Scripture and traditional writings have always held that following the Crucifixion, Jesus descended into Hell to release the souls made captive before His coming, then ascended with them into Heaven before returning corporeally on Easter itself. Naturally, then, He spent the better part of Saturday among the ancient ruins later cleared for the site of Ben-Gurion airport. For not only did angels attend upon Him "to protect you wherever you go," they also lost His luggage.
There are actually several Scripture references incorporated into that. I should probably annotate them because I doubt there's gonna be a Bible where I'm going.
Come with famed director James Cameron, fresh from his uncovering of the lost tomb of the Jesus Family, as he provides amazing new evidence, all in indecipherable Aramaic, of the events of Our Lord on His final days on earth.
Not the Sunday, Thursday or Friday. Those are the ones which get all the run. But Jesus was a man of action, and to read the canonical Gospels you'd think he just hung around (oops- sorry) the rest of the week. Beginning Monday at 9, 8 central time, we present these stunning new additions to the Jesus story:
Small Claims Monday. No wonder there was no authentic mention of what Jesus did the day after arriving in the Temple and chasing out all the merchants. He spent that whole next day defending Himself on early-day televised Judge shows from claims brought by Moshe's Moneychangers and Shecky's House of Sacrifice. Caiphas, Herod and even Pilate would prove to be cake adversaries to Jesus, after listening to Judge Judy exhorting Him most of Monday, "Don't turn water into wine, pour it on my shoes and tell me that it's raining."
Tarsus Hold-Em Tuesday. Just because thirteen guys were about to face division, treachery, denial, arrest, trial and crucifixion, doesn't mean they were gonna give up their regular poker night. Gabe Kaplan guest stars as Judas, the first disciple to figure out that there really wasn't any point trying to bluff if you didn't have a good hand.
MASH Wednesday. In ancient times, these reruns were only on once a week, so the boys fired up the dish one last time for Hawkeye's message of peace and conciliation. Pilate, it turns out, was actually one of Colonel Flagg's cover names; in hindsight, someone that authoritative and yet stupid could only be CIA.
Saturday. Having seen the preview, this one now seems fairly obvious. Scripture and traditional writings have always held that following the Crucifixion, Jesus descended into Hell to release the souls made captive before His coming, then ascended with them into Heaven before returning corporeally on Easter itself. Naturally, then, He spent the better part of Saturday among the ancient ruins later cleared for the site of Ben-Gurion airport. For not only did angels attend upon Him "to protect you wherever you go," they also lost His luggage.
There are actually several Scripture references incorporated into that. I should probably annotate them because I doubt there's gonna be a Bible where I'm going.
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Date: 2007-04-03 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-03 09:53 pm (UTC)not to mention not having a shuttle bus running between terminals on the Sabbath...
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Date: 2007-04-04 04:42 am (UTC)