It Just Won't Stop- Now It's the Plagiarism Meme!

[captainsblog]

Double the theft! Larceny squared! The meme stolen from one place, which stole the entries from others!

Please identify the author/speaker of each of the following poems, and the TV show where they originated. (**Asterisks next to the title means that the poem didn't come with one, so we just made one up.)

IMAGESrevmary, um, sortof
Dark and lonely is the savage night
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord
Watchdog barking-- do he bite?
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord
Open he window, break he neck
Then his house I start to wreck
Got no reason-- what the heck!
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord
C-I-L-L my landlord.

TO WHOM IT CONCERNSbaseballchica03
To whom it concerns
Darlene's work will be late
It fell on her pancakes
And stuck to her plate

To whom it concerns
My mom made me write this
But I'm just a kid
So how can I fight this?

To whom it concerns
I lost my assignment
Maybe I'll get lucky
In solitary confinement

To whom it concerns
Darlene's great with a ball
But guys don't watch tomboys
When they're cruising the hall

To whom it concerns
I just turned 13
Too short to be quarterback
Too plain to be queen

To whom it concerns
I am not made of steel
When I get blindsided
My pain is quite real

I don't mean to squawk
But it really burns
I just thought I'd mention it
To whom it concerns

HAIKUsturgeonslawyer, heh heh
that was cool, huh, huh
when we killed that frog, huh, huh
it won't croak again.

**THE BEAST WITHINbaseballchica03, who, if that IS the right answer, really ought to be ashamed to admit knowing it
Hello again to all my friends
I'm glad you came to play
Our fun and learning never ends
Here's what we did today!

**THE ESSENCE OF PUREBREAD (Elegy For A Dying Utopia)sturgeonslawyer, who's right about the spelling, too
When Polly's in trouble
I am not slow
It's hip-hip-hip,
And away I go!

I CARE
When hooters are around,
And the wife cannot be found,
--I care.
When a Mustang engine purrs,
And the bathroom is not hers,
--I care.
When the pitcher's on the mound,
And the wife is underground,
--I care.
But when I've been playing this for days,
I will kill anyone who stays,
--I swear!

**DAMNABLE FLEAS
Mary had a little lamb
My dog has fleas
Mairzy doats and doazy doats
And I'll be home for Christmas
Your loving son,
Queen Victoria

**PANTSsturgeonslawyer
A little song,
A little dance,
A little seltzer down your pants.

**WOO
Roses are red
And how do you do.
Four drinks of this,
And woo-woo-woo-WOO!

THIS PLANET WARM AND HUMAN
Mia.
Now Mia's been a very popular
Name in the newspapers lately, Murcer.
I mean.

That took the headline.
Unbelievable!
Only in New York
Would it take the headlines away.
Yeah.

Unbelievable.
Terrible.
Terrible what's happening in that situation
And with all that going on down in Florida.
Boy.

They're still showing those pictures on TV
Of the damage down in Florida.
By the way,
Are we going to Florida today, Moore?
O, that's in for a base hit!
Two runs will score!
No they won't.

ODE TO SPOTsturgeonslawyer
Felis cattus is your taxonomic nomenclature
An endothermic quadroped, carniverous by nature

Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses

I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations
A singular development of cat communications

That obviates your basic hedonistic predilections
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection

A tail is quiteessential for your acrobatic talents
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counter-balance

And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion

Oh, Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.

And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

**THE HEART IS A HUNGRY APE
I got your note
Here's one from me
I still like you
Do you still like me?
--Darla
P.S. Butch is a DOPE

**IMMUTABLE ANGST
Miriam, Miriam
Come into my solarium.

ANOTHER CHRISTMAS OF AGONY
i. Misha the dog lies dead in the bog.
ii. The children mourn over the carcass. The mist chokes my heart Covers the mourners
iii. At least this year we eat.

CLOUDS
Cascading
Cascading water
A waterfall
Clouds
Lots of them
Light and puffy
You know.....clouds!
And flowers, covered with dew
And trees hanging over
And you and me, naked on a rock.

**ELEGY WRITTEN UPON A WINDOWSILL
As he crept out into the stealthy night air,
Little did he realize that the fire escape was not there!

**LOVEMANbaseballchica03I don't know the show, but the source says it's "Homer and Abraham Simpson," so I presume your reference is right.
H: What you got ta do
If you want a kiss
Is act real smooth
And go like [THIS].
A: ***Oh, I see***

So if I take your
advice
& make your pat en ted move
Then my chances for love
Will slightly improve.

H: (Now what's that rule?)
A: Play it cool.

**INTRUSION sturgeonslawyerOoh! Ooh! He got another one!
Up your nose
With a rubber hose.

**THE PIXIE'S LAMENT
I am the Fairie Pixie....
Hark!
Come listen to my tale.
"Bain, Bain, go away.
Willis is in the clink to stay.
Kimberly's posing in the nude,
And Arnold's life will soon conclude."

**ANGRY YOUNG DANE
Ophelia: Hamlet, dear--
Your problem is clear.
Avenging thy father's death,
You seek to harm
Your uncle and mom--
But you're scaring me to death!
While I die, and sigh, and cry,
That love is everything,
You're content to try to touch
The conscience of a king.
Since the day when your dad met his fate,
You brood,
and you don't touch your food.
You hate your ma, mad at my pa.
You'll kill the king,
or some silly thing.
So Hamlet, Hamlet, do be a man.
Leave rotten enough alone.
From Ophelia, no one can steal ya--
You'll always be my own.
Leave the gravedigger scene,
If you know what I mean.
Danish pastry for two,
For me, for you.

Hamlet: In truth, Ophelia, you have said a mouthful.

**BOX
Postmarks are a lot more than bureaucratic hieroglyphs.
They're symbols of a sacred trust.
That package has been anointed and sealed.
Like King Tut's tomb, we open it at great personal risk.

Some people look at that box and see a box.
You know what I see?
The spice route to India!
The headwaters of the Nile!
The darkside of the moon!
Terra incognita!
I see Alaska, people!

OZYMANDIUS
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said, "Six vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert
And on the pedestal these words appear--
"My name is Ozymandius, King of Ants!
Look on my feelers,termites, and despair!
I am the biggest ant you'll ever see.
The ants of old
Weren't half as bold
And big and fierce as me!"

**CREEPY GIRLbaseballchica03 Tom Servo! Goooooooo!
C is for the feeling of uncertainty for not quite knowing what ethnic group you're from.
R is for the gifts you give me every time you smile.
The first E is for--uh, well, I don't really know--
But the second E is really a grammatical thing.
Because otherwise it would be "CREPY GIRL"
And where would that leave us?
The P is definitely not for platonic.
And Y?
Because I love you, My Creepy Girl.
Oh, what are you, Creepy Girl?
Are you French, Italian or one of those swarthy gypsy types?
Your accent suggests a romance language, but I can't be sure.
But we can definitely rule out a Germanic language.
But it's okay.
I'm a bot without a country,
And all I know is that I love you.

**COME FISH COME
Come fish come,
Come fish come.
Sam's at the gate
With a frosted cake.
Come fish come.
Fly away buzzard,
Fly away crow,
Way down South,where the winds don't blow.
Rub your nose
And give two winks,
And save us from the awful jinx.

** CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
Sticks and stones
May break my bones,
But you are one dumb Polack.

Comments

[baseballchica03.livejournal.com]

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS - No idea, but from the Darlene and tomboy references, I'm going to guess Roseanne.

**THE BEAST WITHIN - Romper, bomper, stomper doo. Tell me, tell me, tell me do!

**LOVEMAN - I want to say the Simpsons. Grandpa, when he was going after Mrs. Bouvier, maybe? That one that was all kinds of parodying The Graduate, with the S&G faker song at the end. MRS. BOUVIEEEEERRR!

**INTRUSION - My dad.

**CREEPY GIRL - MST3K, whut whut!

And I clearly watch too much television.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

4 for 4 with a walk. Good job.

[sturgeonslawyer.livejournal.com]

If you had a common source for all these, I don't know it.

**HAIKU -- Beavis and Butthead, I presume.

**THE ESSENCE OF PUREBREAD -- That's "When Sweet Polly's in trouble," Shoeshine Boy! (And her last name is, I believe, spelt "Purebred.")

**PANTS -- From the elegy for Chuckles the Clown. MTM show.

**ODE TO SPOT -- was recited by Mr. Data on STTNG.

**INTRUSION -- Welcome Back Kotter, of course.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Aces up. There are a few more I knew I was betting on you for.

[revmary.livejournal.com]

YOu gotta love Eddie Murphy's SNL characters, don't ya.
Darlene Conner...lol..

With the plageristic poems you forgot one...

The Tree

About a lovely thing to be...

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

I'll take that first reference as an answer, and give you credit, cause, you know, excommuncation sucks.