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captainsblogThose grinding noises you just heard were missiles ramping up in Ann Arbor and southern Ohio, aimed directly at me for my sacrilege.
You'll have to excuse my indifference, but I've never been into Saturday football. Maybe it's on account of the three years I was forced into a sardine can with spats on Saturday afternoons and made to watch my high school team lose all its home games while we marched on the field at halftime. I even authored the definitive Band Fag Fight Song™ which let the team know just how much the clarinet section loved them:
Downward, East Meadow, goes right down the drain
We're going downward, straight down to the cellar again!
We're watching incomplete passes go fly through the air!
Down! Down! We know the mighty Jets ain't going anywhere!
(Hey look out man!) Whoops! A fumble!
They score with the ball!
In-terception!
Watch our offense fall!
If we score, a penalty is called
(so we sing)
Downward, East Meadow, goes right down the drain
We're going downward, straight down to the cellar again!
We watch the defense collapse as if they couldn't care!
Down! Down! We know the mighty Jets ain't going anywhere!
College didn't bring any better luck. In my freshman year, Penthouse named the Cornell football team one of the 10 worst teams in the nation (see? I did read it for the articles;), and things never got much better after that. I then ended my college career here, where the football team went from being a bad SUNY Division III team to a REALLY bad Division I-A team.
So all that school spirit and school pride and winning one for the gipper? Never did that. Therefore, when there are big title-determining games between NFL farm teams like Ohio and Michigan State (there go two more missiles), I'm at a bit of a loss to get into the swing of it.
Fortunately, this year, I have help.
Edit. Make that HAD help. I don't think I can make references to the not-dead legendary former coach of the Michigan team on the day he died. So I'll just return to the legendary former coach of that other team, cause at least he's cold and dead.
Former Buckeye coach Woody Hayes is best known for three things: attacking members of the media, attacking referees, and on at least one occasion punching out an opposing ball carrier and making the top of this montage of the ten most unsportsmanlike plays in the history of sport:
Somebody wake me when it's all over. I suppose I really will need to know who'll be playing Rutgers for the national championship.
You'll have to excuse my indifference, but I've never been into Saturday football. Maybe it's on account of the three years I was forced into a sardine can with spats on Saturday afternoons and made to watch my high school team lose all its home games while we marched on the field at halftime. I even authored the definitive Band Fag Fight Song™ which let the team know just how much the clarinet section loved them:
Downward, East Meadow, goes right down the drain
We're going downward, straight down to the cellar again!
We're watching incomplete passes go fly through the air!
Down! Down! We know the mighty Jets ain't going anywhere!
(Hey look out man!) Whoops! A fumble!
They score with the ball!
In-terception!
Watch our offense fall!
If we score, a penalty is called
(so we sing)
Downward, East Meadow, goes right down the drain
We're going downward, straight down to the cellar again!
We watch the defense collapse as if they couldn't care!
Down! Down! We know the mighty Jets ain't going anywhere!
College didn't bring any better luck. In my freshman year, Penthouse named the Cornell football team one of the 10 worst teams in the nation (see? I did read it for the articles;), and things never got much better after that. I then ended my college career here, where the football team went from being a bad SUNY Division III team to a REALLY bad Division I-A team.
So all that school spirit and school pride and winning one for the gipper? Never did that. Therefore, when there are big title-determining games between NFL farm teams like Ohio and Michigan State (there go two more missiles), I'm at a bit of a loss to get into the swing of it.
Fortunately, this year, I have help.
Edit. Make that HAD help. I don't think I can make references to the not-dead legendary former coach of the Michigan team on the day he died. So I'll just return to the legendary former coach of that other team, cause at least he's cold and dead.
Former Buckeye coach Woody Hayes is best known for three things: attacking members of the media, attacking referees, and on at least one occasion punching out an opposing ball carrier and making the top of this montage of the ten most unsportsmanlike plays in the history of sport:
Somebody wake me when it's all over. I suppose I really will need to know who'll be playing Rutgers for the national championship.