Double Feature: Pirates of the Cayugan and The DaVinci Code (STFU N00B)

[captainsblog]

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may and arrr arrr arrr. Some combination of friends and family will be making the not-quite-annual pilgrimage to the Sterling Renaissance Faire, a bit northeast of Rochester and not far from Oswego's fair shores.  And it's their first-ever Pirate Weekend! What this means, quite, remains to be seen, although I'd be hesitant to carry off any of the plunder from the wench auction. Ye never know what kind of curse might be on't.

We'll be aiming to get out there by parade time, which is 1, 12 central and 6 Greenwich mean time, so if anyone else is making similar sylvan plans, holler before the coaches depart here midmorning.

----

I just finished one of (doubtless) many shameless knockoffs of DaVinci Code treading on Templar territory. The legend has always appealed to me long before Dan Brown got his proverbial adverbials into it. The interest goes back to my original tours of the Inns of Court from my summer spent "clarking" in London, and also from our actually taking the Inns tour on our honeymoon given by the author of, and which was among the four tours used in, the 1981 walking-tour book entitled Londonwalks. The Inns walk ends with a detailed explanation of the Templar legend, including detailed descriptions of the Friday the 13th massacre, and also of the nasty repercussions to those who took the Templars out. These would include, most notably, English King Edward II, whose idea of "celebrity poker" is a little different than yours or mine.

But I digress. The particular spin-of-yarn I just finished added a new aspect to the story. Suppose the Knights weren't guarding a grail (whatever THAT might mean), or vast buried treasure, or even WMDs, but an actual handwritten journal containing the words and thoughts of Christ Himself. The novel concludes either that (a) there was such a secret diary, which (1) proves or (2) disproves Christ's divinity; or (b) there was no such diary; or (c) there was one but it was a fake; or (d) Taft.

What it definitely does not reveal is the time period covered by any such journal. Since most of the accepted gospels are totally silent on what would have been the Emo Phase of Our Lord, perhaps such a journal would shed some heavenly light on these missing years.

I have a few excerpts here:

The Secret Diary of Yeshua Son of Yosef

Tamuz 9, 3764

OMFOMFOMF Mary Magdalene was at the dance tonight! I so wanted to ask her out but Thomas said she was acting like an attention horah.

I've got to be more careful with those jugs. "Dad" found some drunken cockroaches in the bottom of one of the water casks and was asking everyone where that wine came from. I made a face and said, "But I don't even like Manischewitz!"

Elul 3, 3764

Got my final class schedule from the new shul. Hebrew first period again. I hate having to translate in my head at that hour. Lyre and cymbal ensemble right before lunch, and then a double period shop class every other day. Weird thing is, Mom said when the schedule first came, it had some stuff on it I didn't sign up for. "Changing stones into bread?" Dude, guys don't take Home Ec. And what was that "throwing yourself off the Temple" thing? I've already GOT gym, LOL!  I'd like to know who this Mr. Mestophiles is, anyway. He must be new this year.

Kislev 5, 3765

Huh? j00das_1s_scary defriended me.  And after school he was paying for everybody else's Nerds.

Just what I needed after a bad day. Some Pharisee assyarmulkes tried shoving me into my locker after math class for showing them up. I told them, "go right ahead, I'll get out." 

Av 22, 3765

Sorry I haven't been posting much. Too much on my mind. Romans mad at me for correcting their grammar. Talmud Alley's been brutal on the fics I've written. Still not Savior.

----

Maybe going out tomorrow in a bunch of open fields under trees isn't the best of ideas.

Comments

[princesskraehe.livejournal.com]

Meta may I?

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Be my guest. Just remember, the quoter gets to fend off the Fundies.

[erinpuff]

...there are fundies on metaquotes? Christian fundies, not just athiest fundies (if such a thing exists)?

[princesskraehe.livejournal.com]

Faugh. I'm a descendent of the country's first Orthodox priest. I am protected.

*zot*

Crap.

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

Joodis is scary totally cracked me up. I scared the dog with my cackling, are you paying for cleaning the carpet?

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, YOUR son can turn water into wine but can He get a stain out of the rug?"

- Sophie, mother of Heshie, who went into his father's vacuum cleaner business.

[baseballchica03.livejournal.com]

Arrrrgh, have fun at the festival! I really wanted to go, too. :-D PIRATES!

[bluesilverkdg.livejournal.com]

I can't decide if a Ren Faire with a pirate theme is clever or frightening! ;-) I haven't been to one in years. If I was closer, I'd drag out my medieval gown and corset and join you. Do you dress up for them? I used to totally get into that stuff and I kinda miss it now.

Oh, I saw the famed turkey legs on the menu. The last one that I went to was a few years ago, so I was still eating the meat. My friend Becky took a picture of me gnawing on a turkey leg bigger than my head. I'd love to find that picture. :-)

[thanatos-kalos.livejournal.com]

English King Edward II, whose idea of "celebrity poker" is a little different than yours or mine.

*groan* I was recently at Berkeley castle, where the whole Edward II thing was explained by a somewhat tipsy archaeologist who commented that Bristol's head of department had expressed a whim to film trying to find the poker...

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Let's not be giving Dan Brown any more ideas....

The DaVinci Colon?

[thanatos-kalos.livejournal.com]

Ok, some jokes are just too easy... :P

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

"Camels are easy, comedy's hard."

I have a book by that title, by Roy Blount, Jr., a serious funny guy. I'd send it to you if your address isn't likely to change for another month.

Also worth your reading in my stash is Joe Queenan's nonfiction book about traveling in Britain, entitled Queenan Country (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0330492195/202-2770193-5620635?v=glance&n=266239), which also speaks with great reverence about the whole poker business.

[thanatos-kalos.livejournal.com]

I'd send it to you if your address isn't likely to change for another month.

I'll be here until september. :)

Also worth your reading in my stash is Joe Queenan's nonfiction book about traveling in Britain, entitled Queenan Country, which also speaks with great reverence about the whole poker business.

ooh...neat!

[luckycee.livejournal.com]

We went to the Faire last year and had a great time. Too hot to dress up, although some hearty souls did.

That journal is pure genius!

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

It had cooled down considerably by the time we got out there. I'll post about it tomorrow; one of the performers put me in his "cast" quite unexpectedly and I got some serious spit-takes out of him for my own improv'd improv:-)

And thank you. The novel itself wasn't especially memorable, but once he mentioned the Jesus Journal, my mind just got going. Having a 14 year old around the house certainly helps.

(The icon's courtesy of someone on metaquotes who saw the entry.)

[sturgeonslawyer.livejournal.com]

Ray, run, do not walk, to your local bookshop and pick up a copy of Christopher Moore's [b]Lamb: The Gospel According to Christ's Childhood Friend Biff[/b]. I might have the exact wording of the subtitle wrong, but it would fit right in with your sensayuma (as would his wonderful Christmas book, [b]The Stupidest Angel[/b]).

[miss-katelynne.livejournal.com]

"assyarmulke" is my new favorite word.

Very amusing and intelligent stuff. How you come up with this stuff, I'll never know.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

::bows, offers the gift of iconage (credit apey1013 for the art)::

Glad you've surfaced! I was wondering how you were doing ::hugs::

[miss-katelynne.livejournal.com]

I've got entirely too much stuff going on at the moment. The show has been held over for a third week and the weekend after that I have my brother's memorial over in Seattle. In the midst of all this I am trying to get everything ready to find a job. My resume is pretty much there, I just need to get my references and cover letters in the go position.

In other words, I'm exhausted.

Thanks for the icon sharage. :)