Turning the Tide
Mar. 14th, 2012 09:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captainsblogI did something last night I literally hadn't done in years under this roof: I watched the network evening news.
No need to call my sponsor or stage an intervention; it was a weird schedulary alignment where Eleanor was working until 7 and I had a meeting at 7, so leftovers were heated and I ate alone. Since it was 6:30- an hour where Dan, and before that Uncle Walter, used to grab my attention every night- I shrugged a what-everrrr and put the channel on.
It's Diane now, and it's so depressing. The blur between the Nightly News and Entertainment Tonight is complete, as she stands in front of the giant monitor, previewing the one story they show before teasing the next one and cutting to a cascade of old-people-drug commercials.
The one I saw, both teased and presented? This one:
It’s being called a “grime wave,” a rash of thefts targeting Tide laundry detergent. Near Mineapolis, cameras caught 53-year-old Patrick Costanzo stealing more than $25,000 worth of the product over the course of 15 months.
“It’s like he put the pieces in there like Tetris pieces. He maximized that cart, there’s no wasted space,” said investigator Sean Melville of the West St. Paul police. Costanzo would load up his cart and push right past workers. He’d also take paper towels, soda and toilet paper.
“There’s no way he can be using,” said Melville. “I hope for his own sake he’s not using that much toilet paper everyday.”
Authorities finally put an end to the sudsy spree, but with a retail price from $10 to $20 this household laundry staple has become a kind of currency of the streets. It can sell on the black market for half the price and with no serial number it’s impossible to track.
“Tide is highly recognizable, it’s very difficult to trace and it’s easily resold,” said Brad Garrett, former FBI special agent.
My BS meter is way to the right on this one. Not Era, not Dreft, not the Safeway store brand. It's almost got a Febreze-covered whiff of viral marketing behind it. Dude!, some modern-day Mad Man says. We can't buy this kind of advertising on the evening news! Just get the word out that our brand's the shit! And it'll even get the stains out!
This may be driven by the ::koff:: Santorum surge in the polls. If he gets past Gingrich, he'll likely adopt the Newt strategy of putting our kids to work as janitors so they can learn the value of a gallon of laundry detergent; and they'll have to keep those workhouse uniforms clean, yaknow! Plus, you can never have enough stain fighter whenever Frothy's around.
----
As promised, today's Doonesbury installment:
Btw, although you don't see it in this one, it took me two full days before I finally noticed the scarlet "A" on the back of the patient's clipboard.
No need to call my sponsor or stage an intervention; it was a weird schedulary alignment where Eleanor was working until 7 and I had a meeting at 7, so leftovers were heated and I ate alone. Since it was 6:30- an hour where Dan, and before that Uncle Walter, used to grab my attention every night- I shrugged a what-everrrr and put the channel on.
It's Diane now, and it's so depressing. The blur between the Nightly News and Entertainment Tonight is complete, as she stands in front of the giant monitor, previewing the one story they show before teasing the next one and cutting to a cascade of old-people-drug commercials.
The one I saw, both teased and presented? This one:
It’s being called a “grime wave,” a rash of thefts targeting Tide laundry detergent. Near Mineapolis, cameras caught 53-year-old Patrick Costanzo stealing more than $25,000 worth of the product over the course of 15 months.
“It’s like he put the pieces in there like Tetris pieces. He maximized that cart, there’s no wasted space,” said investigator Sean Melville of the West St. Paul police. Costanzo would load up his cart and push right past workers. He’d also take paper towels, soda and toilet paper.
“There’s no way he can be using,” said Melville. “I hope for his own sake he’s not using that much toilet paper everyday.”
Authorities finally put an end to the sudsy spree, but with a retail price from $10 to $20 this household laundry staple has become a kind of currency of the streets. It can sell on the black market for half the price and with no serial number it’s impossible to track.
“Tide is highly recognizable, it’s very difficult to trace and it’s easily resold,” said Brad Garrett, former FBI special agent.
My BS meter is way to the right on this one. Not Era, not Dreft, not the Safeway store brand. It's almost got a Febreze-covered whiff of viral marketing behind it. Dude!, some modern-day Mad Man says. We can't buy this kind of advertising on the evening news! Just get the word out that our brand's the shit! And it'll even get the stains out!
This may be driven by the ::koff:: Santorum surge in the polls. If he gets past Gingrich, he'll likely adopt the Newt strategy of putting our kids to work as janitors so they can learn the value of a gallon of laundry detergent; and they'll have to keep those workhouse uniforms clean, yaknow! Plus, you can never have enough stain fighter whenever Frothy's around.
----
As promised, today's Doonesbury installment:
Btw, although you don't see it in this one, it took me two full days before I finally noticed the scarlet "A" on the back of the patient's clipboard.
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no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 03:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 03:53 pm (UTC)Honestly, until last night, I couldn't have told you for sure that Sawyer was the ABC anchor- and I didn't know who the CBS one was until you mentioned it just now.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 05:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 11:24 pm (UTC)I would have had no idea to expect it and would have thought it utterly weird were it not for this post. Thank you for your sacrifice in watching it on the evening news first.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-15 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-16 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-16 07:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-17 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 04:46 pm (UTC)I get my news from Colbert, Jon Stewart, and sources on the Internet like the BBC, NYT, Washington Post, etc. I hate network news; it's mostly hysteria and propaganda.