I worked mostly from home and, still, from this Vista computer today. Windows kept nagging me to install updates- unusual, since the scheduled ones usually show up on Tuesday or Wednesday. One of them was to the pre-loaded Microsoft browser that I only use under duress, when no other independent one plays well with the site I need to use. Apparently, this bug was so dangerous, Microsoft resurrected its promise not to support XP or IE 8 anymore, and it provided patches even to those millions of out-of-date users.
So it seemed like a good time to get this computer out of the early 21st century and into a more secure browser for the few things I ever use it for. I opened IE 8 and tried to download 9 (higher versions seemingly needed higher operating systems than Vista). Here's what I got:

That's right, kids. IE 8 blocks you from downloading IE 9 "to help protect your security." So, in a fit of irony, I used a non-Microsoft browser to download the same executable, which it did download. Several times. But every attempt to run the executable, straight or even "as administrator," produced the following:

In time, I figured out how to restore IE9, which I rejected dozens of times, in the Windows Update automatic download/install protocol. But that, too, generated the same "has stopped working" error. "Check online for a solution" does nothing. "View problem details" explains nothing. In short, I'm stuck with a vulnerable and obsolete browser which at least two programs of mine require me to use.
Output me now.
So it seemed like a good time to get this computer out of the early 21st century and into a more secure browser for the few things I ever use it for. I opened IE 8 and tried to download 9 (higher versions seemingly needed higher operating systems than Vista). Here's what I got:

That's right, kids. IE 8 blocks you from downloading IE 9 "to help protect your security." So, in a fit of irony, I used a non-Microsoft browser to download the same executable, which it did download. Several times. But every attempt to run the executable, straight or even "as administrator," produced the following:

In time, I figured out how to restore IE9, which I rejected dozens of times, in the Windows Update automatic download/install protocol. But that, too, generated the same "has stopped working" error. "Check online for a solution" does nothing. "View problem details" explains nothing. In short, I'm stuck with a vulnerable and obsolete browser which at least two programs of mine require me to use.
Output me now.