The Cycling Tour

The title refers to the first, and to my memory the only, Monty Python episode that was a full-length self-contained story rather than a series of unrelated sketches.  It appeared roughly midway through the group's third and final season on BBC1 that makes up the canon of my recollection. (The only other full-length episode was titled "Mr. Neutron" and was from the fourth series- performed without John Cleese, relegated to BBC2, and shown on US public television much less frequently.) "Cycling Tour" was largely what it said on the tin: Mr. Pither, played by Mr. Palin, was a nerdy backpacking bicyclist who traveled the countryside, seeing most of it from the ground as he repeatedly fell off his means of transport.  The other Pythons he encountered ranged from other fictional characters to a range of real personages dead and alive: the long-dead Trotsky, the then-recent Catwoman Eartha Kitt, and even the then-PM Edward Heath.

But mostly Mr. Pither falling off.

My own lifetime of cycling has likewise met with mostly fall-down moments.  One of my earliest memories is of putt putting around on a tricycle in our back yard. I eventually graduated to a two-wheeler with training wheels removed, but my Pither-like experiences began in elementary school:

1969, Fell off near Craig's house near the junior high school.

It was a cool kid's bike with wideout handlebars, my first one with hand brakes on those bars rather than coaster brakes on the foot pedals, and a bitchin' banana seat. I slid on some sand in the road, ruptured my right eardrum and chipped a front tooth, maladies I carry to this very day. That bike was never seen again.

A few years later, I had shown sufficient trust and balance to be awarded a newer one. A three-speed of the English racer style.

1971. Did not fall off. Had it stolen out of a bike rack at the junior high school.

Some galoots will steal anything. This bike was no prize, but it had one of those chains to prevent thievery with a built-in combination lock.  Like this one, shown on a shopping site as "vintage"-



I could crack the combination on that just by pulling on the locking end as the closest digit was turned. Helen Keller could have gotten it open in 20 seconds, which is about as long as it took to boost it while I was in the Woodland gym shooting hoops or whatever.  Now a two-time bicycle loser, I would never be given a new one again.

1975ish: Fell into a used one that came with the paper route I inherited.

This was a dull orange Schwinn with baskets on the back to carry my Newsdays to my five-block territory. My church friend Dawn gave up the route and the bike that went with it. That one was too old and uncool to take to college and it likely remained in the garage until 1991 when mom gave up the house.

Late 70s to I think through the 80s and 90s: Did not fall, but mostly carried round an ALBATROSS!

(That's from a different Python sketch.) 

Sometime after we moved off campus, a dark tan Schwinn racing bike somehow appeared. A previous tenant must've left it behind and I glommed on to it. I did a modest amount of riding on Ithaca's hilly terrain: always an adventure to be sure the brakes would still work on the way down East Hill, and an even more Herculean task getting it back UP that hill.  Damned if that thing didn't make every one of my 12 moves in 10 years- from there to here, over to Rochester and back, before finally winding up in the attic of this home until it got pitched in a fit of spring cleaning probably around 2001.  Most of the rides on it were along the Erie Canal near our first and last two Rochester-area homes together. 

2016: Made sure two new bikes did not fall off.

After a good decade when both of us only rode stationery bikes inside gyms, eight years ago this month, we decided to resume the Tour De Western New York.  Both from a brand called Electra: hers a Townie, mine a Cruiser. Both with extended warranties that were never used.  We each tried taking ours to work a few times: my office just about two miles west then south, her store a bit more than that to the north then east.  A few times, we'd load them on the rack purchased new along with them to get them to the Amherst Bike Path, former home of the Amherst Bike Path Rapist. (They caught him.) When Eleanor's knees started getting worse, the commutes and recreational trips ended.  She did do a better job keeping hers in good shape while working her distance up, especially after the two surgeries. Mine just kinda sat in the garage, gathering dust and cobwebs while I put in my exercise efforts at the gym 2-3 times a week.

Independently just yesterday, we each thought of getting mine fixed up so we could do some rides together.  My thought was to have something fun to share; she's gotten her around-the-neighborhood distances up over five miles and wants to see more than just the same ten streets, and trails aren't always safe to ride alone on, not just on account of bike path rapists but for flat tires and, my personal favorite, falling off.

The tuneup and adjustment packages on the bike long expired, and we had no idea how much “da damages” would be to fix it up. After the experience earlier this week with the car charging cable, I was expecting something not far from the $329 the thing cost me in the first place. This time, though, I got good news when I brought it into Bert’s where we bought them:



(Yes, Siri misspelled derailleur. Sue us.)

So I'll have that by the weekend. Forgot to take a "before" picture of it all flat and grubby, but I'll get one when it comes back.

We ordered the Level 2 charger today and are awaiting scheduling by the electrician to install it. I gave the hybrid a full tank of gas today so we should be set until the car can start feasting on that sweet solar-powered electricity by, we hope, this time next week.

Because we wouldn't want our energy efficiency to....

::removes sunglasses::

Fall off.