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That was the onetime voice of Good Mother Bell, circa 1970, in the guise of Ernestine the operator:
Forty-on years and a Belluva breakup later, there may be more than one company- but the screwing, or at least screwing around, continues.
Just a little history: except for some rare pockets of independent telephony (including, I later learned, a big one in Rochester, New York), AT&T owned everything. The local service, the long distance, the equipment, the wires, the works. It was too big and powerful, so the government broke it into pieces: "Baby Bell" regional entities, I think seven of them, would rise from the wreckage and provide the local service. AT&T, as such, was limited to long distance, and they got to keep the Bell Labs hardware division, although phone-on-your-desk restrictions were finally gone. Over time, those babies all got into incestuous relationships with each other, and at least one of them with Ma, and there are now, really, only a handful of players in the landline markets for local and long distance. One is Verizon, heir to the Nynex/Bell Atlantic spinoffs and some other pieces; another is AT&T itself.
I'm a customer of each, for landlines and cellular, respectively. And about the only place they really compete is in the "screw everybody" department.
----
I mentioned last month that Emily got hornschwaggled at an AT&T store when she decided to switch her mobile service to Sprint. AT&T told her that she was free to go, only to tell me that "free" would cost $95 plus tax because she was actually eight days short of the expiry of her contract on the prior phone. I told her I'd deal with it when I got the bill- and it was a whopper. Roughly 70 bucks more than a usual month, including the 95, but it should have been less. Because you pay in advance for the basic service and the text/data plans, this month's bill should have been at least 50 less than that since her phone is no longer on the account.
Have you ever tried reading a phone bill? The cellular one is 24 pages of blinding black indeciperability. I couldn't figure out how the bill got so high. I even took it to the local AT&T store and they couldn't figure it out. But that was fine, because they couldn't remove the $95 charge even if they could figure it out; I'd need to call customer service to do that.
Amazingly, though? They took it off. Maybe it's because I threatened to leave the minute my current contract is up. I still don't entirely understand how "pro-rating" works to increase a bill when you cancel midmonth, but I'm going to give it a month to see how it looks from here.
----
At least they have no problem taking my money and applying it correctly when I do pay. That's the current problem with the Verizon landlines.
We have three of them. For reasons lost to history, two are on a bill in Eleanor's name, one is on a bill in mine. (There used to be a fourth, used for a dedicated modem line, but that left the building when broadband came in.) They're on separate billing cycles, and I pay both, usually online. Last month, though, I paid the "Ray's name" bill with a paper check.
They applied the payment to the "Eleanor's name" bill. Which, recall, is totally separate. And started sending me reminder emails about paying the "Ray's name" one.
I figured I might have accidentally sent it in with the wrong account's coupon, so I sent them another one. Making sure it was sent with the right coupon. Even putting the phone number on the check I meant it to be applied to.
Ha. This only encouraged them- because didn't they go and do it again?!? So I now have a 30-something dollar credit on the "Eleanor's name" account- where the payment isn't even due for more than a week- and on the "Ray's name" phone, I'm starting to get nag calls from Verizon and I'm picturing the Ernestinian image of "a large burly serviceman coming to your home to rip it out of the wall."
("I'd advise you to lock up the liquor," Ernestine added, "he's a mean drunk.")
I'm sure I can get this all sorted, once I get on 1-800-SCREWVZ and spend a good hour trying to get them to post the payments the way they were intended. Not like I have anything else to do during the day, after all....
Forty-on years and a Belluva breakup later, there may be more than one company- but the screwing, or at least screwing around, continues.
Just a little history: except for some rare pockets of independent telephony (including, I later learned, a big one in Rochester, New York), AT&T owned everything. The local service, the long distance, the equipment, the wires, the works. It was too big and powerful, so the government broke it into pieces: "Baby Bell" regional entities, I think seven of them, would rise from the wreckage and provide the local service. AT&T, as such, was limited to long distance, and they got to keep the Bell Labs hardware division, although phone-on-your-desk restrictions were finally gone. Over time, those babies all got into incestuous relationships with each other, and at least one of them with Ma, and there are now, really, only a handful of players in the landline markets for local and long distance. One is Verizon, heir to the Nynex/Bell Atlantic spinoffs and some other pieces; another is AT&T itself.
I'm a customer of each, for landlines and cellular, respectively. And about the only place they really compete is in the "screw everybody" department.
----
I mentioned last month that Emily got hornschwaggled at an AT&T store when she decided to switch her mobile service to Sprint. AT&T told her that she was free to go, only to tell me that "free" would cost $95 plus tax because she was actually eight days short of the expiry of her contract on the prior phone. I told her I'd deal with it when I got the bill- and it was a whopper. Roughly 70 bucks more than a usual month, including the 95, but it should have been less. Because you pay in advance for the basic service and the text/data plans, this month's bill should have been at least 50 less than that since her phone is no longer on the account.
Have you ever tried reading a phone bill? The cellular one is 24 pages of blinding black indeciperability. I couldn't figure out how the bill got so high. I even took it to the local AT&T store and they couldn't figure it out. But that was fine, because they couldn't remove the $95 charge even if they could figure it out; I'd need to call customer service to do that.
Amazingly, though? They took it off. Maybe it's because I threatened to leave the minute my current contract is up. I still don't entirely understand how "pro-rating" works to increase a bill when you cancel midmonth, but I'm going to give it a month to see how it looks from here.
----
At least they have no problem taking my money and applying it correctly when I do pay. That's the current problem with the Verizon landlines.
We have three of them. For reasons lost to history, two are on a bill in Eleanor's name, one is on a bill in mine. (There used to be a fourth, used for a dedicated modem line, but that left the building when broadband came in.) They're on separate billing cycles, and I pay both, usually online. Last month, though, I paid the "Ray's name" bill with a paper check.
They applied the payment to the "Eleanor's name" bill. Which, recall, is totally separate. And started sending me reminder emails about paying the "Ray's name" one.
I figured I might have accidentally sent it in with the wrong account's coupon, so I sent them another one. Making sure it was sent with the right coupon. Even putting the phone number on the check I meant it to be applied to.
Ha. This only encouraged them- because didn't they go and do it again?!? So I now have a 30-something dollar credit on the "Eleanor's name" account- where the payment isn't even due for more than a week- and on the "Ray's name" phone, I'm starting to get nag calls from Verizon and I'm picturing the Ernestinian image of "a large burly serviceman coming to your home to rip it out of the wall."
("I'd advise you to lock up the liquor," Ernestine added, "he's a mean drunk.")
I'm sure I can get this all sorted, once I get on 1-800-SCREWVZ and spend a good hour trying to get them to post the payments the way they were intended. Not like I have anything else to do during the day, after all....