How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Answer: More than this one, apparently.

Eleanor came home from work Saturday night bearing her truck owners manual. The turn signal indicator was going bonkers on her, she said- flashing really fast.

Now. We've had more than a little fun in the household disaster department in this past week, the 15th anniversary of our closing on this house.  Earlier in the week, the shower curtain came a-crashin' down, and one of the brackets that had held it up for at least those 15 years (and probably more like 50) had a nice break in the metal part that the curtain rod assembly screws into. Even Ed Youngs was stumped on this one, but they sold a replacement set of brackets that will require all new drillings.

Then we've had other assorted minor bugs that I can't even remember, but this one? I got it. That's just a signal of a burned-out indicator bulb. They sell them in twos, and our vehicles are all Fords, so I probably have the replacement bulb right here, right?

Uh huh.

I got the taillight assembly off, removed the dead bulb, inserted the extry from my last set, and.... bad match. There's a slightly different seating for the taillight bulb for her truck.  No problem, though, while I have it all off: I decided to switch the turn-signal and backup-light bulbs until I could buy a new one. I've done this on my car many times; better to have that light out since it's only on a few seconds of each trip, right?

Another bad match. Unlike the ones on my car, hers takes a different bulb for each.

I screwed it all back on, promised to take care of it while she was at work, headed to Wally World for the part, and.... they were out.

At this point, I'm auditioning actors for the role of Sancho Panza as this started turning into a Veritable Quest. I resolved to find an auto parts store as soon as I finished my cardio. By then, the rains had come and there was no way I would complete the repair, but at least I'd get the part. NAPA rowed a boat out to my car and delivered the two replacement bulbs....

....neither of which fit the fucking socket when Eleanor got the truck home last night.

So now she's driving my car until I head over there before a 2:00 appointment at the office. And her owners manual, which I'd dragged back out to check the part number? Got soaked in the second rain of the day last night and now vaguely resembles the Manhattan telephone directory.

I wonder if there's a Yellow Pages listing in there for "light bulb screwer inner."

ETA. Right bulb purchased and installed in the truck. And Eleanor KICKED ASS AND TOOK NAMES getting the holes drilled and the shower curtain rod back up.

♫And he handed me 15 dollars for a $13.80 fare and he said, "Harry, SOCK! POW! BIFF!"♫

Looks like Chicago is gonna be a less of a toddlin' town tonight, at least for the fans of the Black Hawks.

Patrick Kane, South Buffalo native and Chicago hockey superstar, spent part of Sunday night in the pokey, after he and his cousin got arrested for beating up a cabdriver following a dispute over $1.20 of change from the cabbie's fare.

The Kanes are accused of assaulting the cab driver and failing to pay their fare after getting a ride from Chippewa Street in the downtown night club district, according to police reports.

The Kanes were arrested at about 5 a.m. on Eastwood Place, off Main Street near Canisius College, according to Buffalo police reports.

The two allegedly punched the cab driver and grabbed money they had handed him after he told them he didn't have 20 cents in coins to give them their change, the report said.

Their fare was $13.80 and they handed the driver $15, according to a report.

The cab driver told police he was punched in the face and head, grabbed by the throat and his glasses were broken during the incident.

Paddy has gone and hired the highest-priced defense lawyer in town to save his not-quite-Canadian bacon after this (and he better, because Canada will deny him entry to the Remaining Six NHL venues there if he's got a felony on his record). The local fishwrap is full of comments from Angry White Guys blaming the cabbie and asking us not to rush to judgment. You know, just what they-all did when Bills star Marshawn Lynch (care to guess his racial background?) got in his own trouble on Chippewa Street a few years back. At least Marshawn was over 21 when he was (allegedly) getting faced in the Chip Strip's finest adult beverage facilities, even if he was (allegedly) bringing his own hooch into the places.  Patrick Kane isn't even legal drinking age yet- and no doubt the Urkelcams will pick up exactly which bar(s) provided the fuel for his fire the other night.

Sympathies to the Black Hawk fans in the house.  It's looking like he's gonna have to do more than two minutes in the sin bin for this one.