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Oops he did it again.
Apr. 7th, 2007 03:59 pmUrkel's gone and got himself in trouble one more time.
A week or so ago, reports began surfacing about the February theft of the Mayor's SUV from outside his Canisius-neighborhood home. Making it odd, though, was that the vehicle showed no sign of forcible entry; making it odder was that the thief took it on a ride ending right back on the Mayor's home street, where he whacked several other parked cars and trucks before abandoning the urban assault vehicle and running away....
....back in the direction of the Mayor's house.
Byron Brown has a 16-year old son, Byron III ("B3" among the hip kids). After the initial reports came out, the Mayor appeared at a hastily called news conference to announce there was a "zero percent chance" it was his son.
Well, zero is apparently a larger number than we all thought, for yesterday, a much more harried-looking Urkel, this time flanked by a private lawyer blaming the media for making a "feeding frenzy" out of the matter, reported B3's confession to a much-diminished Good Friday press corps.
“Perhaps if I had spoken to him first, I would have been able to get it out of him,” the Mayor said.
Dude. I have a teenager about his age. I could smell the bullshit coming out of his prior statements before the cow patties hit the meadow. You knew. And you lied to protect him, and your own fast-fading cred.
Sealing the deal were two sets of Canisius surveillance videos from near the scene. After viewing the first one, Buffalo's top cop, himself African-American, made some incredibly stupid remarks about the on-film differences between light-skinned blacks and dark-skinned blacks. Silly me- thinking Julian Bond had settled all that once and for all 30 years ago. You've got to believe that if the kid hadn't been caught on film, the denial would have gone on and the owners of those hit cars would have had no recourse against the Mayor's insurance.
Now, though, B3 will pay for the damages and do some community service. And the rents can only pray they didn't make any false statements in reporting the incident to their own insurance company.
----
On a totally unrelated note: I have temporarily reclaimed my own teenage insanity. That is to say, I am rooting for the New York Islanders to claim the 8th and final Eastern Conference playoff spot.
Put down that stick and let me explain.
The Sabres have clinched first place throughout the East, and have a good chance of claiming first overall from Detroit. That means they will play the 8th place team in the East, which right now can only be one of three: the Maple Leafs, Les Habitants, and the famed Long Island Fishsticks, aka the
Now. All our home playoff games are long sold-out. Lost causes. So let's look at the chances of a road trip:
Montreal: too far. Too many home fans. Too scary an opponent anyway. Au revoir to them.
Toronto: ick. Between their fans sneaking into our building and the Air Crappe Centre being sold out until 2047, no way, eh?
That leaves my former haunts at the Nassau Mausoleum.
Seats in section 103, practically behind one of the benches, are readily available at Ticketmonster. Not for cheap, mind, but who cares? It's a seven hour drive most ex-Noo Yawkahs can do in their sleep. And sleep rhymes with "sweep," so if we're gonna advance to the next round in four straight, this is the place it's gonna happen.
I won't be the one doing it, unless millions of things fall into place in the next 72 hours beyond the Islanders winning their final game and other teams helping out. But for the sake of my fellow fans, it would be a serious cool thing.
----
There's a third thing, but I doubt anyone interested in it would have stayed this far past the sprots rant, so I'll post it later.
A week or so ago, reports began surfacing about the February theft of the Mayor's SUV from outside his Canisius-neighborhood home. Making it odd, though, was that the vehicle showed no sign of forcible entry; making it odder was that the thief took it on a ride ending right back on the Mayor's home street, where he whacked several other parked cars and trucks before abandoning the urban assault vehicle and running away....
....back in the direction of the Mayor's house.
Byron Brown has a 16-year old son, Byron III ("B3" among the hip kids). After the initial reports came out, the Mayor appeared at a hastily called news conference to announce there was a "zero percent chance" it was his son.
Well, zero is apparently a larger number than we all thought, for yesterday, a much more harried-looking Urkel, this time flanked by a private lawyer blaming the media for making a "feeding frenzy" out of the matter, reported B3's confession to a much-diminished Good Friday press corps.
“Perhaps if I had spoken to him first, I would have been able to get it out of him,” the Mayor said.
Dude. I have a teenager about his age. I could smell the bullshit coming out of his prior statements before the cow patties hit the meadow. You knew. And you lied to protect him, and your own fast-fading cred.
Sealing the deal were two sets of Canisius surveillance videos from near the scene. After viewing the first one, Buffalo's top cop, himself African-American, made some incredibly stupid remarks about the on-film differences between light-skinned blacks and dark-skinned blacks. Silly me- thinking Julian Bond had settled all that once and for all 30 years ago. You've got to believe that if the kid hadn't been caught on film, the denial would have gone on and the owners of those hit cars would have had no recourse against the Mayor's insurance.
Now, though, B3 will pay for the damages and do some community service. And the rents can only pray they didn't make any false statements in reporting the incident to their own insurance company.
----
On a totally unrelated note: I have temporarily reclaimed my own teenage insanity. That is to say, I am rooting for the New York Islanders to claim the 8th and final Eastern Conference playoff spot.
Put down that stick and let me explain.
The Sabres have clinched first place throughout the East, and have a good chance of claiming first overall from Detroit. That means they will play the 8th place team in the East, which right now can only be one of three: the Maple Leafs, Les Habitants, and the famed Long Island Fishsticks, aka the
Now. All our home playoff games are long sold-out. Lost causes. So let's look at the chances of a road trip:
Montreal: too far. Too many home fans. Too scary an opponent anyway. Au revoir to them.
Toronto: ick. Between their fans sneaking into our building and the Air Crappe Centre being sold out until 2047, no way, eh?
That leaves my former haunts at the Nassau Mausoleum.
Seats in section 103, practically behind one of the benches, are readily available at Ticketmonster. Not for cheap, mind, but who cares? It's a seven hour drive most ex-Noo Yawkahs can do in their sleep. And sleep rhymes with "sweep," so if we're gonna advance to the next round in four straight, this is the place it's gonna happen.
I won't be the one doing it, unless millions of things fall into place in the next 72 hours beyond the Islanders winning their final game and other teams helping out. But for the sake of my fellow fans, it would be a serious cool thing.
----
There's a third thing, but I doubt anyone interested in it would have stayed this far past the sprots rant, so I'll post it later.