Get Off My Lawn! Colon! Whatever!
Sep. 9th, 2021 09:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captainsblogIt's Prep Day. Which means I haven't eaten anything since around 9 this morning, have had hardly any of my usual daily cadre of caffeinated beverages since, and guzzled a gallon of Miralax between 3 and 6 this afternoon.
The latter product is working as intended.
The dog hasn't helped. She's used to annoying me as I sit upon the upstairs throne in the mornings, because she associates that with us going on walkies after I finish, so she whines during the process and goes full-on bark when I flush. She has now done this half a dozen of the (somewhat in excess of) half a dozen times I've urgently answered Miralax's call in there.
Her whining is one of the reasons I moved that business to the basement over the past few weeks. I did so again today right after my first guzzle, and took the opportunity to clean the catboxes while I was down there. Figured the smell would get my system in the right mood.
The rest of my mood has been fairly grumpy. I lasted in the office until about 2:30, or right before coming home to drink down the first Big Gulp. One court hearing by phone, where I somehow pulled rabbits out of my hat and got a client an extra week's dispensation if only he will get me one thing and do a second. I email him to tell him those things, specifically mentioning in the emails I'm leaving now for colononscopy prep so don't contact me later today. Which of course he did, by two emails (first: I can't get you first thing; second: I won't do second thing) and then a text saying Did you get my emails? (I replied, Yes, did you get my email about what's coming out of my ASS right now?!?)
Oh, and Pony Guy from yesterday, who I'd offered the whole morning to meet with AND told by voicemail that I couldn't talk after early this afternoon? Called at 8:39 tonight. I didn't pick up.
The one call I did take was from a longtime friend from AOL days, who's become friends with Eleanor and they're really bonding. SHE got the call, but was busy cleaning up the hork that Pepper had left on the living room sofa while the three cats ran around like banshees. Must be their sensitive noses with all this poo smell flying round. Anyway, our friend was just returning from a three-day stay in Facebook Jail for an innocuous post of a baby picture that somehow triggered a p0rn filter.
I told her about how I somehow managed not to wind up even longer in Facebook Solitary over a mean remark I'd made on another friend's post, and deleted after it got an immediate FUCK YOU! response from another friend of the guy.
Original post: Eric Clapton is still scheduled to give a concert in Texas. Should be cancel it due to the crazy bounty hunter bill?
Comment somebody else left before I got there: Fuck him, he's an anti-vaxxer, there's no reasoning with him.
My reply, barely within the bounds of decency: Hey, maybe when he gets to Texas, someone can snitch on him for abetting an abortion and cost him over $10,000.
Alas, I have never seen fit to stay within those bounds:(
After all, he's already killed ONE kid. THAT WE KNOW OF....
That got me the aforementioned FU and caused me to delete it before the Zuck Patrol put me on double secret probation for saying such a thing.
So apparently, I'm here all week. Try the Miralax:P
(Actually, I hope to be back here in about 12 hours. Our arrival time is 8 tomorrow morning, and since I think I'm first, I stand a better chance than Eleanor did of not having the start time pushed back by previous unconscious patients.)
The latter product is working as intended.
The dog hasn't helped. She's used to annoying me as I sit upon the upstairs throne in the mornings, because she associates that with us going on walkies after I finish, so she whines during the process and goes full-on bark when I flush. She has now done this half a dozen of the (somewhat in excess of) half a dozen times I've urgently answered Miralax's call in there.
Her whining is one of the reasons I moved that business to the basement over the past few weeks. I did so again today right after my first guzzle, and took the opportunity to clean the catboxes while I was down there. Figured the smell would get my system in the right mood.
The rest of my mood has been fairly grumpy. I lasted in the office until about 2:30, or right before coming home to drink down the first Big Gulp. One court hearing by phone, where I somehow pulled rabbits out of my hat and got a client an extra week's dispensation if only he will get me one thing and do a second. I email him to tell him those things, specifically mentioning in the emails I'm leaving now for colononscopy prep so don't contact me later today. Which of course he did, by two emails (first: I can't get you first thing; second: I won't do second thing) and then a text saying Did you get my emails? (I replied, Yes, did you get my email about what's coming out of my ASS right now?!?)
Oh, and Pony Guy from yesterday, who I'd offered the whole morning to meet with AND told by voicemail that I couldn't talk after early this afternoon? Called at 8:39 tonight. I didn't pick up.
The one call I did take was from a longtime friend from AOL days, who's become friends with Eleanor and they're really bonding. SHE got the call, but was busy cleaning up the hork that Pepper had left on the living room sofa while the three cats ran around like banshees. Must be their sensitive noses with all this poo smell flying round. Anyway, our friend was just returning from a three-day stay in Facebook Jail for an innocuous post of a baby picture that somehow triggered a p0rn filter.
I told her about how I somehow managed not to wind up even longer in Facebook Solitary over a mean remark I'd made on another friend's post, and deleted after it got an immediate FUCK YOU! response from another friend of the guy.
Original post: Eric Clapton is still scheduled to give a concert in Texas. Should be cancel it due to the crazy bounty hunter bill?
Comment somebody else left before I got there: Fuck him, he's an anti-vaxxer, there's no reasoning with him.
My reply, barely within the bounds of decency: Hey, maybe when he gets to Texas, someone can snitch on him for abetting an abortion and cost him over $10,000.
Alas, I have never seen fit to stay within those bounds:(
After all, he's already killed ONE kid. THAT WE KNOW OF....
That got me the aforementioned FU and caused me to delete it before the Zuck Patrol put me on double secret probation for saying such a thing.
So apparently, I'm here all week. Try the Miralax:P
(Actually, I hope to be back here in about 12 hours. Our arrival time is 8 tomorrow morning, and since I think I'm first, I stand a better chance than Eleanor did of not having the start time pushed back by previous unconscious patients.)