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captainsblogYou are sensing a theme in these recent posts, I hope. In all likelihood, 2020 will go down as the biggest mistake of the millennium, and that's saying something considering how it came along barely 20 years into the thousand.
The title of this post is a homage to an old bit from a Toronto radio station I listened to in my car driving around Buffalo with my AM-only radio in the early 80s. I mainly listened for their morning guy, a longtime Chicago jock named John Records Landecker (and Records really was his middle name). He ran a typical precursor to the raunchier Morning Zoo shows that came along later that decade, and his signature bit was something he called TTC. Not directly named for the Toronto subway system of those initials, he said "around here that stands for Trudeau Talks Cute"- he'd take audio clips of the then Canadian head honcheau Pierre, père of the present one, and would precede them with fake leading questions that turned the PM's comments into jokes. Landecker's Canadian gig lasted only a few years before he returned to the Windy City; I recently thought of him because his daughter Amy is a voice actress who was featured in the Dreamworks animation series Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts that we just finished watching.
I didn't remember who had the CFTR afternoon drive slot- this legacy site says it was a guy named Dan Williamson, which sounds right. The format was mostly top 40 rock, some news segments- the station went and remains all-news not long after that- and, typical for the time, two different airborne helicopter reporters calling in traffic conditions during the rush hours. I learned most of what I know of Toronto geography from listening to their reports. One regular feature was what the host called the "5:10 stuuuupid joke of the day." They were relatively clean, and were essentially dad jokes long before anybody called them that. The two guys in the air- Darryl Dahmer definitely, and Russ Holden is cited on the site- would then rate the jokes in their droll ThisisyourCaptainSpeakingEh pilot voices. Usually not very well.
Occasionally, I'll come up with something so bad as to merit "stupid joke of the day" homaging, but for the past few days, it's been more a happening first thing in the morning and one to be called the 8:10 stuuupid MISTAKE of the day.
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The other day, I had one I mentioned here; I knocked over a box of keepsakes, but it worked out well enough because I found a forgotten $25 Wegmans gift card in there that took care of that day's groceries as well as my lunch for today and tomorrow. Yesterday's was more a misreading:
This is a very serious and useful therapeutic book that Eleanor picked up years ago, titled “Mothering Ourselves.” On a less serious note, she left it on the shelf in the kitchen in a place we designate for things that need to go downstairs. I passed it coming into the kitchen yesterday morning, and out of the corner of my eye, from the way it was placed, I thought the title of the book was “Bothering Ourselves.”
If anybody is going to write a book about 2020, I want royalties on that title.
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Then today's arrived at more or less the same time.
The client I met after leaving the Rochester office yesterday made up for the whole previous day of stand-ups and never-reachers; he not only agreed to settle a case but to pay for it, both the settlement itself and my fees connected with it. I left, check in hand, and had a nice drive home, albeit occasionally interrupted by strange life forms....
Deduccccctibllllllesssssss!
Followed by....
We had a quiet evening inside, finishing Spike Lee's recently released-to-Netflix film Da 5 Bloods. I slept better than in recent nights, and when I rolled out to the kitchen close to the dreaded 8:10, Eleanor was already up and outside working. I poured a cuppa and put a bagel - such a deal! half a dozen day-old cinnamon raisins from the bagel joint near my office, half the price of Wegmans- in the toaster.
I then caught a whiff: did Eleanor make brownies? She bought mix to make some for Father's Day, but it was an exhausting enough day that I asked her to put off making them. Nope, the mix was still in the box and the bowls were still stacked and clean. Then the toaster popped- with the first of the six chocolate chip bagels I'd bought.
As with most of these, there are worse mistakes you can make.
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One I likely will not be making is returning to Canada anytime soon. The Mets sent out their finalized schedule for the abbreviated 60-game season, which will be limited to games in the sport's Eastern Divisions. That leads to an unexpected series in TO, which we usually only visit every three years. Since it's not scheduled until the weekend after Labo(u)r Day, I foolishly considered the prospect that (a) things would be better by then, (b) the border would be open, and (c) there would be actual fans allowed inside. And so, instead of North on the Fourth, would the 7 Line Army maybe sponsor a Labor With Our Neighbours?
Several Canadian friends responded promptly: hell no, eh? The entire season is apparently set as fanless, and even if they opened the gates to their own residents, the last thing they need is a couple thousand maskless 'Murkin COVIDiots reinfecting them.
So, maybe a watch party on Zoom?
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Also, maybe by then Eleanor will know how her freakin' test turned out. She's been fine since the brief few hours about this time last week, and it'll be a week tomorrow morning since she did the drive-thru test at CVS. The paperwork she brought home said 2-4 days for results, but they told her at the time, no, figure more like 4-6. Four was Monday. Nothing. Likewise, yesterday. She was supposed to go back to work yesterday and decided not to; they did confirm she will be paid disability for yesterday and today regardless of result, but then today they STILL aren't saying anything other than sorry, due to overwhelming demand figure more like 6-8 days. I, meanwhile, am still scheduled for a platelet donation on Saturday where they will test on the spot. It's debatable whether I'll find out before she does.
Even though that would be realllly stuupid.
ETA. Still Lookin' for Landecker, but I found a Stupid Joke of the Day clip! At least at the time they recorded this aircheck, it was a guy named Mike Cooper, who only recently retired from Toronto airwaves, and the peanut gallery of "Rusty" and "Double D" are just as I remember them:) The SJ of the D starts at around 2:45 (of the clip- it came on precisely at 5:10 that day- as it had to).
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Date: 2020-07-08 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-09 12:27 am (UTC)