Liar, liar, guns on fire!

[captainsblog]

Eight appointments today over a span of close to 11 hours. Six with/for actual/potential clients, the other two to file things.  But the story of the day came from the first hour on the clock.

Bankruptcy has become a more generous refuge for those who need it (and qualify for it) in recent years. Thanks to the expansion of "exemptions" by both Congress (mostly indexed to increase amounts) and the NY Lej (to expand and modernize its own set of exempt allowances, and also to allow debtors to choose between the federal and state schemes), very few assets of human beings get "administered," i.e., liquidated and distributed to creditors.  Any person filing in this state gets to keep at least $12,250 of ordinary household stuff, plus over $3,500 of equity in a vehicle, plus at least $12,725 of anything they own- if only they disclose it.

Getting the disclosures is the tooth-pulling that attorneys and trustees do on a daily basis. Clients forget, or misunderstand, or, worst of all, just assume that some nominal asset "doesn't matter." My clients' trustee from this morning has a patter speech that makes clear that EVERYTHING MATTERS. He doesn't want the $3.00 costume bracelet, but damned if he's going to ignore that bauble on a debtor's wrist if they've scheduled "jewelry" as zero.  So he tells everyone, before they get up to testify:  if he asks the question of "why didn't you tell me about X?" to one or both of them, the absolue "wrong answer" is, "I didn't think it was important."

Guess how many witnesses it took for that rule to go down in flames this morning?



Mister NMC^* of Hardscrabble County, New York, was first up today. He'd already filed his sworn lists of assets which T had already read. He'd heard the EVERYTHING MATTERS speech. He testified that he'd listed all his assets, that his schedules were complete and accurate, and that he knew of no errors or omissions.

T reviewed his real estate documents, his car title, his tax return. Next, his lawyer handed over his bank statements, to verify how much he had to his name on his June-ish filing date. Answer: not much. But: bank statements aren't the dull debit listings they once were. If you use a debit card, your bank conveniently tells you, and anyone else who cares to look, just what you're spending your money on.

Including, in the case of Mr. NMC, a debit for an annual membership in the National Rifle Association.

"Hmmmmm", T said. "Do you like gladiator movies own any firearms?"

"Yeah, I got a gun."

"Interesting. Tell me about it."

A make and caliber were promptly discharged from NMC's orifice.

"Any reason you didn't bother to list it on your schedules which have a specific question about whether you own any Firearms and sports, photographic, and other hobby equipment?"

And yes, without using the actual words, dude essentially stated under oath that he didn't think it was important.

Cleaning bill to remove traces of T's brain from the hearing room ceiling: $600.00
Schadenfreude among all the attorneys in the room: priceless.

----

Appointment Number Two was with the same trustee on his second calendar of the day. The EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT story changed from the jewelry one, to one about not disclosing firearms when you have a fucking membership with the Nuts Running America.  His case not even closed, and already he's a legend.

----

^* Short for "Not My Client," the best client to (not) have when these stories come up.

Comments

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

Well -- if he'd told the court, President Obama would have heard of it, and would have come around and taken away his manhood weapon immediately?

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

I'll be more than happy to pry his bankruptcy discharge from his cold dead fingers.

[thediva-laments.livejournal.com]

This post is awesome. As is the Nuts Running America comment. Well played, sir.

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

That's what one of my history professors called them. I've always wondered why it hasn't gained greater currency.

[greenquotebook.livejournal.com]

Anyone there with an iPhone? I'd love to see footage of NMC making T's head explode.

When hubby and I went through bankruptcy, it was embarrassing how well dressed some of the other petitioners were. It was also embarrassing *being* one of the petitioners, but that's another story.

My lawyer liked us because we disclosed everything without any arm-twisting, including my jewelry and itty-bitty bits of stock (like 5 shares of Travelzoo and 20 or so of Michelin).

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

My biggest issue with the whole Disclosure thing is this: they expect every little bitty thing to be disclosed in writing and then re-testified to under oath with the tape going- and yet they are still scheduling between 7 and 10 cases per hour, which inevitably results in the whole calendar running late and everybody being more stressed and cranky by the time those final cases get heard.

I know why they do it- the trustees make very little off of no-asset cases and they'd thus be sitting around with nothing to do they scheduled a more limited number per hour and then one or two debtors didn't show. But still- there's got to be a happy medium.

It's even worse in Manhattan- I did my first case down there around this time 2 years ago- where more than half the people filing need translators. And not just Spanish- there's a service providing 20 different services. And they more than double the length between the call-in to the service and the then inevitable doubling of the time it takes to ask and answer each question. I don't object to the service, but you'd think that when Lee Ho Fook files a Chapter 7, someone might realize there might be a need for a translator and schedule a smaller number of cases that hour.

[greenquotebook.livejournal.com]

Isn't there a way to notify the court of the need for a translator during the application process? Seems like a good idea. Then, when the court schedules the hearing, they know to pad the schedule for that case. Even better, schedule a full day of cases that need, let's say, a Spanish interpreter, so that the translator's services can be contracted for a full day so that the poor translator isn't shuttled from courtroom to courtroom? Seems reasonable.