Show me,.... USELESS! ::ding!::
Aug. 13th, 2014 01:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captainsblogI forgot to put a couple of mailpieces in the meter-and-mail box at the office yesterday, so I took them to the post office. I needed two stamps. I came out close to three minutes later after receiving an interrogation about whether my letter-size envelopes contained any dangerous materials (clearly they haven't been reading my prose:P), a receipt with more text on it than the letters themselves, and a circling of the bottom of that receipt telling me, as the clerk spent time telling me, to fill out an online survey to share my "Postal Service Experience."
For two stamps.
The Surveying of America is reaching extremes of ridiculousness. My bank, which is constantly nagging me to "go paperless" to "save the environment," routinely doubles the amount of paper run through their printers, and the time it takes their tellers to hand them over, by including a "WIN CASH" survey form on the bottom of every single deposit receipt I get back from them. Every office, home furnishing, and non-food retailer now presents you with a receipt containing well over a foot of text beyond the actual purchase- for "You May Also Like" suggestions, for limitations on your returns and exchanges, and always- always- for surveys.
It just gets silly after awhile. I'm sure they're all doing it because business gurus have told the CEOs that "customer feedback is important!" and because they know that the overwhelming majority of customers won't respond; only the happiest and most-pissed customers will even bother, and the laws of averages suggest you'll attract more of the former than the latter.
At some levels, there are serious attempts to game the system. Almost every new car dealer we've dealt with in recent years (okay- one- but the same thing has happened on used cars, too) has called us after sales or service appointments to beg, plead, grovel to be sure that we give them nothing but the highest marks in the surveys that Corporate sends out. If we generally like the level of service, we'll usually give in, but it just seems to result in all kinds of false positives that they wind up crowing about in advertisements about their supery-duper "J.D. Power ratings."
Ah, yes, J.D. Eleanor gets lots of very extensive surveys from them about Iggy, because she is one of only a few thousand drivers of first-generation electric Smart cars in the whole country. And yet, what do they ask her about? Not the driving experience or his impeccable service record, but they keep going on about the sales process, which was, now, over a year ago. So they're getting data that, even if not false, is subject to fadings of memories.
Know who doesn't annoy the shit out of me with surveys? Wegmans. They know that "incredible customer service" is the kind that people will tell them- and the customers' own friends- entirely on their own, without being nagged into confessing it. They also save an incredible amount of employee time and company resources by not wasting tons on the wasted efforts.
If you agree with me, please rate this entry from 1 to 5 in your comments. Even better? Don't.
For two stamps.
The Surveying of America is reaching extremes of ridiculousness. My bank, which is constantly nagging me to "go paperless" to "save the environment," routinely doubles the amount of paper run through their printers, and the time it takes their tellers to hand them over, by including a "WIN CASH" survey form on the bottom of every single deposit receipt I get back from them. Every office, home furnishing, and non-food retailer now presents you with a receipt containing well over a foot of text beyond the actual purchase- for "You May Also Like" suggestions, for limitations on your returns and exchanges, and always- always- for surveys.
It just gets silly after awhile. I'm sure they're all doing it because business gurus have told the CEOs that "customer feedback is important!" and because they know that the overwhelming majority of customers won't respond; only the happiest and most-pissed customers will even bother, and the laws of averages suggest you'll attract more of the former than the latter.
At some levels, there are serious attempts to game the system. Almost every new car dealer we've dealt with in recent years (okay- one- but the same thing has happened on used cars, too) has called us after sales or service appointments to beg, plead, grovel to be sure that we give them nothing but the highest marks in the surveys that Corporate sends out. If we generally like the level of service, we'll usually give in, but it just seems to result in all kinds of false positives that they wind up crowing about in advertisements about their supery-duper "J.D. Power ratings."
Ah, yes, J.D. Eleanor gets lots of very extensive surveys from them about Iggy, because she is one of only a few thousand drivers of first-generation electric Smart cars in the whole country. And yet, what do they ask her about? Not the driving experience or his impeccable service record, but they keep going on about the sales process, which was, now, over a year ago. So they're getting data that, even if not false, is subject to fadings of memories.
Know who doesn't annoy the shit out of me with surveys? Wegmans. They know that "incredible customer service" is the kind that people will tell them- and the customers' own friends- entirely on their own, without being nagged into confessing it. They also save an incredible amount of employee time and company resources by not wasting tons on the wasted efforts.
If you agree with me, please rate this entry from 1 to 5 in your comments. Even better? Don't.
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no subject
Date: 2014-08-13 05:29 pm (UTC)Let me see. What would be unsatisfactory about an oil change? Failure to tighten the filter so that all the oil leaks out as I'm leaving the dealership? Yup, that would be unsatisfavory.
What would be the bestest fabulousest most transcendent oil change ever? Without resorting to vulgarity, it's tough to imagine. You jacked up the car. You took the old oil out. You put new oil in. If you did a really good job, you also topped up my fluids, checked the air pressure in the tires, and looked at the belts and the suspension while you were waiting for the oil to finish draining out.
And it just so happens that's what Nissan does. They hand me the keys back with an extensive checklist and a smile.
So that rates... 8? I mean, they might have detailed the car...
Why not just two categories: Satisfactory and Unsatisfactory. Like/Dislike. Good/Bad. Why try and get TEN shades of meaning out of it?
Anther Annoying Modern Trend. You're out at a website. Say you want to check what Comcast would charge to add Showtime to your service so you can watch "House of Lies." Or you're idly musing about trading in your car for something new. A little box suddenly blocks your screen informing you that "Chris" would be just ever so happy to chat with you and help you with any questions you might have.
If I'd wanted to talk to a person, I would have phoned.
no subject
Date: 2014-08-19 04:04 pm (UTC)The "awhile" in question amounted to maybe three minutes. Which doesn't count the close to five minutes it takes to GET to "bill payment" between manual login (Notnizon splits username and password over two screens so you can't use Password Manager), "no thanks"ing through the upsell screens for FIOS, and avoiding the autopay they'd really prefer you use.
no subject
Date: 2014-08-19 04:17 pm (UTC)A little window opened up. "Chris" was standing by ready to answer my questions. So I asked.
Half an hour later, after "Chris" (I couldn't tell if it was the world's slowest typist or a brain-damaged bot) was wrapping up a sales pitch with "How does that sound?"
"Not good at all," I typed back. "I asked one simple question, and you failed to answer it despite repeated requests. Goodbye."
Next morning I drove to the next town, popped into the friendly neighborhood Comcast office, talked to the human behind the counter, and got what I needed in less than five minutes.
Hmmm, I haven't received a survey yet on that transaction...
no subject
Date: 2014-08-13 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-14 06:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-14 01:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-14 01:59 pm (UTC)If you are unhappy to assist me, but will do it anyhow, press 2
If you are feeling rather neutral on the subject, press 3.
If you are unhappy to assist me, and will therefore be surly, rude, and useless, hang up now.
If you are absolutely ecstatic to assist me, seek professional help and medication?
no subject
Date: 2014-08-14 06:10 pm (UTC)