Not that this is a Top Ten List or anything....

[captainsblog]

Just awoke to a preview post from bill_sheehan about the HP entry into the tablet biz.  Dangerously, this got me thinking. When the subject is HP, that thinking is going to be decidedly evil, and thus, a comment, reprinted (with hopefully improved HTML) richere:

What I would expect from an HP-designed smartything:

10) Total incompatibility between the drivers and any OS with which it interacts;

9) Endless sparkly messages in the lower right asking to install new updates;

8) Every time you start a new book, it wastes 20 minutes of your time and valuable battery life while it "aligns" it;

7) That battery costs more than platinum, ounce for ounce, and five minutes after you install it, a pop-up tells you it's down to 20 percent;

6) GPS directions always begin at a garage in Palo Alto;

5) Video icon only plays Youtubes of 2010 Carly Fiorina campaign commercials;

4) Built-in "phaser" app seeks out Compaq devices and destroys them;

3) Despite flashy appearance, it's basically just made out of cheap plastic and its unibody parts are impossible to repair without chucking the whole thing;

2) Multiple annoying redundancies in error mess
GRIND. GRIND GRIND GRIND.
BEEP! DADINNNNNG!
Taskbar:Out of numbers

Monitor:

THE LIST IS OUT OF NUMBERS. ADD MORE NUMBERS AND PRESS OK. OR SHOP ONLINE FOR MORE HP PRODUCTS THAT YOU DO NOT NEED.

Comments

[bktheirregular]

There's also the nice habit of randomly spitting up a message to the effect of "We see that, even though your printer disconnected thirty seconds ago, you have just installed a new printer of the same type. Before you can use your new printer, please install 328.7 metric fbeeptons of crapware, and don't forget to register with us to stop us from dropping this cute kitten into a wood-chipper. Also, we have created a new pointer to your brand-new printer, and your default printer is now registering as unplugged."

(That made me go the "anything BUT HP" route when I got a new multifunction printer.)

[nonspecific.livejournal.com]

Don't forget "Will run blue million processes that do nothing but slow down the system that are nearly impossible to kill permanently." After reimage I was smart and avoided the disc that came with the printer. I just went and downloaded the drivers only from the website.

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

Ok, crossing HP off the tablet list. What do you know about Motorola's XOOM? Not looking to buy now, but just thinking about the future where we are financially stable. :P