Geronimo!

[captainsblog]

I guess we're fortunate that Fox is not going to do an American version of Torchwood. The Beeb is continuing to shop the spinoff to other networks, so Captain Jack may still be coming to our shores.  But the report ended with this:

Also, fans shouldn't hope for/worry about a U.S. edition "Doctor Who," whose recent season premiere just set a ratings record on BBC America.

"It may well be confusing to have a British Doctor and an American Doctor at the same time," she said. "There is only one Doctor, so I don't see that happening."

Right. I'm from the old school on this sort of statement, which is "never believe a rumour until it is officially denied."

This is Britain, after all, which has been massively screwing up all things United Colonian since 1775.

So I'm just trying to picture what Fresh Hell might be in store if they were to place this golden egg under Rupert Murdoch's ass.

The TARDIS certainly wouldn't be a 60s-era police call box. This is America. So, probably a Hummer. Even better, a Cadillac Escalade. Hey, it was good enough for Tony Soprano.

Instead of Daleks as the principal villains, we'd have European Socialists. GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER! GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER!

Sonic screwdriver, out. Sonic hamburger, in. Product placement pays the bills, yaknow.

Oh yeah, all those commercial breaks. Lots more chances for cliffhangers.

Yet what I really worry about is the principal casting. I'm thinking they'd do something like Lady Gaga as the Companion, but who'd be Fox's idea of a good idea for the Doctor himself?

Impertinent. Manic in his movements. Prone to self-aggrandisement and monologuing.

Brilliant!



GET OFF MY TARDIS, YOU LITTLE PINHEAD!

This fall on Fox: Fair, and mentally unbalanced: