Only in Buffalo....

[captainsblog]

It's not THAT unusual to have an FBI investigation of local public officials doing dirty deeds. Happens in places like Detroit and DC all the time.

It's even relatively common, around here at least, for such public officials to cop pleas to minor offenses, only to find out that, under the rather persnickety terms of this State's Public Officers Law, they are forced to give up their public office on a conviction for (or, just as bad, a guilty plea to) even a misdemeanor offense,  if that offense constitutes a finding of/admission to a "lack of moral integrity." (Never mind that, absent guilty pleas in open court, that would probably entrap about 90 percent of the elected officials in this entire country.)

Yet only Buffalo has the rather unique requirement of, essentially, advertising a midterm vacancy caused by such chicanery like it was an opening in the Public Works Department, requiring the majority party (or in this case, the anti-mayoral faction OF the majority party) to solicit resumes for a specified period before voting for an interim successor to the not-quite-felonious former City Councilperson.

The most recent victim of such questionable legal advice was a Friend Of The Mayor who used his City Council position, mainly, as a checkbook for himself and other assorted friends and family. He has now bitten the bullet of his misdemeanor plea and resigned his office (but probably not his lifetime health care or pension), but the real fun is coming in the parade that is lining up to seek the remaining Council's blessing in the filling of the resulting vacancy until at least next November:

The list of people interested in becoming Buffalo's next Ellicott District Common Council member continues to grow.  A former city commissioner, a housing revitalization expert, the owner of a downtown chocolate factory and a former banking executive are the newest candidates vying to fill the empty seat. The vacancy occurred after Brian C. Davis pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors. He admitted that he used campaign contributions for personal use and then lied about it to the Board of Elections.

Of course there are only three words of interest in THAT to my much-addled brain:

downtown chocolate factory.

It took all of five minutes for me to get going on the obvious response, posted on one of the paper's blogs earlier today. Forget lifetime political hacks, so-called experts, and already-overpaid executives from the banking industry. (Not to mention the unmentioned Jesse Jackson wannabe who already ran for, won, and resigned a seat on the school board because even that part-time post was conflicting with his pastoral responsibilities.)  No, what this city needs more than anything is in the air, and it smells like Cocoa Puffs.

Really. Hopefully, Jenn will back me up on this. When the wind is blowing in just right from the General Mills factory, the entirety of downtown makes Sonny just go kookoo.

But a genuine chocolate factory OWNER would bring so much more. Or rather, so MANY more. It made me just want to break into song....

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you do when your councilman quit
Putting the mayor right into a snit
Cause his vetos, they now won’t stand up
His power will be limited,
I don't like the look of it

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you’re in Grassroots, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do!

Of course, Urkel is likely to run for somebody's Congressional seat and get out of this mess through the glass elevator before all of the rest of this hits the fan....

 

Comments

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

Anyone that can get my chocolate has my support. (just kidding...sorta)