DO NOT WANT MYDE INTO BRODWEH SHO

[captainsblog]

marciamarcia has brought us some frightening news: after conquering the Internet and even the Bible, the LOLCAT brigade has now taken on T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land."

Seems only fair, though, that this punishment be inflicted on the man most responsible in our generation (despite being dead when it happened) for the anthropomorphizing of these furry little predators.  So what else to move to on the Eliot bookshelf than the poem collection in question?

No, these cannot be set to music. Do not even try.

TEH NAMIN OV KATS IZ DIFFICULT MATTR,
IT ISNT JUS WAN OV UR HOLIDAI GAMEZ;
U CUD FINKZ AT FURST IM MAD AS HATTR
WHEN U KAT TELZ U "I CAN HAS 3 DIFFERENT NAMEZ?"




 MUNGOJERRIE AN RUMPELTEAZR
WUZ VRY NOTORIOUS COUPLE OV KATS.
AS KNOCKABOUT CLOWNS, QUICK-CHANGE COMEDIANZ,
CEILING CAT  WALKRZ AN ACROBATS




 MACAVITYS MYSTERY KAT: HEZ CALLD TEH HIDDEN PAH -
 4 HEZ TEH MASTAH CRIMINAL HOO CAN DEFY TEH LAW.
 HEZ TEH BAFFLEMENT OV SCOTLAND YARD, TEH INSPECTORZ PAL N GAUNT:
 WHEN THEY TRY TO KTCH HIM AT THE SEEN- MACAVITY DO NOT WANT!




 UVE READ OV SEVERAL KINDZ OV KAT,
 AN MAH OPINION NAO IZ DAT
 U SHUD NED NO INTERPRETR
 2 UNDERSTAND THEIR CHARACTR.
 U NAO HAS LERND ENOUGH 2 C
 DAT KATS R MUTCH LIEK U AN ME
 AN OTHR PEEPS WHOME WE FIND
 POSESSD OV VARIOUS TYPEZ OV MIND.
 4 SUM R SANE AN SUM R MAD
 AN SUM R GUD AN SUM R BAD
 AN SUM R BETTR, SUM R WORSE -
 BUT ALL CUD BE DESCRIBD IN VERSE.
 UVE SEEN THEM BOTH AT WERK AN GAMEZ,
 AN LERNT BOUT THEIR PROPR NAMEZ,
 THEIR HABITS AN THEIR HABITAT:
 BUT
    HOW WUD U AD-DRES KAT?

IM IN UR HED, UR MEMORY JOGN
AND SAYIN A CAT IS NOT A DOGN

WIF KATS, SUM SAY, DERE 1 RUUL SINGLISH:
DOAN  SPEEK TO IT IN PRPR INGLISH!
IT NO CAN HAS TEH BRAIN OR BOWELS
TO TRANSLAT WORDS OR EVEN VOWELS.
 BUT I DO KEEP IN MIND DAT HE
 RESENTS FAMILIARITY.
 I BOW, AN BENGIN ON MAS ASS,
 AD-DRES HIM THUS: YES U CAN HAS!
BUT IF HE IZ TEH KAT NEXT DOOR,
 WHOM I HAS OFTEN MET BEFORE
 (HE COMEZ 2 C ME IN MAH HAUNT)
I ASK HIM 1ST: DO YOU NOT WANT?



Feel free to add. One can only gorge on these things so much.

Comments

[headbanger118.livejournal.com]

Wow...that was quite the effort. I am reeling from reading it, and I must go take some Advil now. BTW, Bill made it to Level 46 on the Free Rice word game. I knew he'd do well.

[thunderemerald.livejournal.com]

Oh my God.

Oh my GOD.

::cleans brain out::

[marciamarcia.livejournal.com]

I love this. Seriously, I could add LOLcats to everything.