First the rats desert the ship. And now this:

[captainsblog]

Barney the Dog Latest to Resign from Bush Administration


Barney answers reporters' questions at the Resignation of the Week news conference at the White House.

WASHINGTON (RayP)-- His longest-serving advisor. His trusted personal lawyer. His cancer-battling spokesman. All leaving a trail to the White House door so potent, the senior White House Dog felt he had no choice but to put his nose down and follow it.

Barney called a late-afternoon news conference to announce his departure from the grounds, effective September 14th. "I felt two weeks notice was appropriate," said the canine. "In dog years, that's like more than three months."

In a prepared statement, Barney made reference to the desire to spend more time with his family- an uncertain prospect following his post-appointment neutering- and to have more opportunities to roam free without Secret Service agents tracking his every step.

"They get that electric pooper scooper right up against my ass," Barney said. "Man is that thing cold."

High-placed sources in the West Wing, who spoke on grounds of anonymity out of fear of being bitten, gave a different angle to the departure. "Barney's been brooding for a week since Rove called him out," one said.

The reference was to the just-departed Chief of Staff's insult of the dog on his own way out the door earlier in the month. "Barney's a lump," Rove told the New York Times, hinting he was not the only one holding that opinion.

The dog would neither confirm nor deny these suspicions at yesterday's conference. "I can't say anything about the man. He can pee on more people at a time than I can," he said.

It remains unknown how the Presidential Pooch's official responsibilities will be divvied up. First Lady Dog Miss Beazley, India the Cat, and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales are reportedly in line for many of the assignments. Perhaps most important of them will be starring in the redesign of the Flash game on the whitehouse.org website where the Barnster teaches his younger terrier sister "how to protect the White House from liberal America-haters!"

In his final official act, Barney is scheduled to spend the next 14 nights sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom. "That should get those rich Hollywood donors completely infested with fleas after the Clintons move back in," the dog chuckled.