Losing My Religion
Apr. 15th, 2007 07:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captainsblogThe people of this area have given up on a God who thinks that major snowstorms in October and April are funny somehow. Therefore, we awoke today to find that all the local Roman Catholic parishes had been rebranded as Snowman Catholic.
Some immediate differences were noticeable.
Creation mythology
RC: God created the world in six days, and on the seventh day He rested.
SC: It snowed nonstop for six days, and on the seventh day He shoveled.
Symbolism
RC: Crucifix, red robes, incense.
SC: Corncob pipe, button nose, old silk hat.
April liturgy
RC: He is Risen!
SC: It is fallen!
The Sacred Elements
RC: Bread and wine are transsubstantiated into the Body and Blood of Our Lord.
SC: Snow and road salt are transsubstantiated into snow turds.
On the other hand, some things will not change. Schools will remain closed for days at a time in honor of these movable feast days; the liturgy will continue to emphasize the importance of suffering; and as with recent generations of RC priests, I still wouldn't want to leave any unsupervised small children in the care of the new guy:
Some immediate differences were noticeable.
Creation mythology
RC: God created the world in six days, and on the seventh day He rested.
SC: It snowed nonstop for six days, and on the seventh day He shoveled.
Symbolism
RC: Crucifix, red robes, incense.
SC: Corncob pipe, button nose, old silk hat.
April liturgy
RC: He is Risen!
SC: It is fallen!
The Sacred Elements
RC: Bread and wine are transsubstantiated into the Body and Blood of Our Lord.
SC: Snow and road salt are transsubstantiated into snow turds.
On the other hand, some things will not change. Schools will remain closed for days at a time in honor of these movable feast days; the liturgy will continue to emphasize the importance of suffering; and as with recent generations of RC priests, I still wouldn't want to leave any unsupervised small children in the care of the new guy: