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Twice this week, I've encountered a fun new technology that is doubtless well-intended but in practice made me multiply crazy. The first was for the latest refi. Yes, that would be Refi II: Electric Boogaloo. The previous one got us out of our toxic mortgage, that had a decent rate and payment terms but was being reported as an oversized credit card and tanked our credit scores. But, because the appraiser couldn't find any recent comparable sales, he went with ones from a year earlier before the market in this neighborhood started going sky high. So we got out just enough to pay off the toxic one and a few other bills. We were advised to give the score, and the market, some time to adjust to the new realities and then put either a new, smaller, variable-rate home equity line of credit on top of that loan, or go for a fixed-rate, fixed-amount loan to supplement it.
The scores went up to about what they were six years ago as soon as the prior Bad Mortgage was reported as paid, and the comparables have been cooking along nicely all around us, so it seemed to be the right time to start again. We chose the latter fixed-rate fixed-amount option, since by the time we pay for all the things that came up on the energy audit and we pay off the one other fairly large improvement loan we didn't have enough for last time, we'd come close to maxing it out anyway. We applied over the weekend, and have since gotten and returned our document packages to electronically sign and initial- but that's not the nasty new technology part.
It came up again, for me, today. As part of a broader look at our finances and closeness to retirement, a financial planner had some questions we couldn't answer. One of them was how much I expected to be getting in Social Security monthly payments if I hold off retiring for eight more years. The last statement they mailed me was over a year ago, showing the range of monthly checks if I went at the minimum age of 62 in three months, my "normal" age of 66 and change fourish years after that, or at my benefit maxed-out age of 70.
I couldn't find that statement to give her, and in any event I knew it was wrong on the low side anyway. Recall that during the height of the pandemic, the IRS pushed back the 1040 filing deadline last year to July 15, so when they sent that statement they only had my nominal W-2 earnings for 2019. I knew that an updated one would include my substantial self-employment numbers for both that year and 2020, so I set out to open an online account with them.... and ran into the same tech.
Shall. We.Play. A. Game? Take. A. Picture?
Both of these sites offered variations on the same basic drill:
The preferred method for both was to use the smartphone camera to photograph either just the back (refi) or both sides (SS) of our state's photo license. Clicking "take a photo" opens an app that asks you to fit the license side to the frame shown on the screen. It requires a very steady hand, an eagle eye to make sure the image is in focus, and a lot of patience. It nags you as you go with ALIGN, MOVE CLOSER, MOVE CLOSER, ALIGN, ALIGN, before finally, if it thinks it's got it, you get a 3...2...1 countdown and the picture goes to their site....
and, both times, didn't work:P
For the refi, I simply took photos directly through the camera function, without the nags, and uploaded them. It's kinda creepy watching it then autofill your full name, DOB, address and who knows what else as it goes.
Today's was even more difficult. I only had to do my own for the benefit account, but they needed both sides. Again, doing it through UPLOAD didn't work at first, but by taking an external photo of the front, and re-uploading the one from the refi for the back (that I knew scanned okay), I got it to say, Fine, I can read these. But then the site said, Sorry, I can read them, but I still don't know who you are.
They then offered access to a multi-platform dot-gov site that does document and identity verification for multiple federal agencies. This one took a good half an hour to get the photos right, but then with one other step it announced, Great! Your account is now set up! Go back to SSA and do your business!
....well except SSA then said, Sorry, you took too long to set up your account. No can do.
I was starting to envision- and dread- a visit to the local SS office on Monday to straighten it out, but then, just for giggles, I checked if I was having some kind of cookie or history problem. I copied the SS login link from Firefox, pasted it into Chrome, entered my login stuff, and....
YAY! I had my benefit statement! If I hold out the eight more years to age 70, it will be about $500 a month more than my best recollection was of what the last paper statement said. * ** ***
* If I should live so long.
** If Congress doesn't fuck up the whole program and reduce or eliminate what I've been paying for since 1977.
*** Nothing. There is no third thing.
But at least I accomplished it. Now to see if the people on the other end of that camera start calling to tell me they've been trying to reach me about my extended warranty.
The scores went up to about what they were six years ago as soon as the prior Bad Mortgage was reported as paid, and the comparables have been cooking along nicely all around us, so it seemed to be the right time to start again. We chose the latter fixed-rate fixed-amount option, since by the time we pay for all the things that came up on the energy audit and we pay off the one other fairly large improvement loan we didn't have enough for last time, we'd come close to maxing it out anyway. We applied over the weekend, and have since gotten and returned our document packages to electronically sign and initial- but that's not the nasty new technology part.
It came up again, for me, today. As part of a broader look at our finances and closeness to retirement, a financial planner had some questions we couldn't answer. One of them was how much I expected to be getting in Social Security monthly payments if I hold off retiring for eight more years. The last statement they mailed me was over a year ago, showing the range of monthly checks if I went at the minimum age of 62 in three months, my "normal" age of 66 and change fourish years after that, or at my benefit maxed-out age of 70.
I couldn't find that statement to give her, and in any event I knew it was wrong on the low side anyway. Recall that during the height of the pandemic, the IRS pushed back the 1040 filing deadline last year to July 15, so when they sent that statement they only had my nominal W-2 earnings for 2019. I knew that an updated one would include my substantial self-employment numbers for both that year and 2020, so I set out to open an online account with them.... and ran into the same tech.
Shall. We.
Both of these sites offered variations on the same basic drill:
The preferred method for both was to use the smartphone camera to photograph either just the back (refi) or both sides (SS) of our state's photo license. Clicking "take a photo" opens an app that asks you to fit the license side to the frame shown on the screen. It requires a very steady hand, an eagle eye to make sure the image is in focus, and a lot of patience. It nags you as you go with ALIGN, MOVE CLOSER, MOVE CLOSER, ALIGN, ALIGN, before finally, if it thinks it's got it, you get a 3...2...1 countdown and the picture goes to their site....
and, both times, didn't work:P
For the refi, I simply took photos directly through the camera function, without the nags, and uploaded them. It's kinda creepy watching it then autofill your full name, DOB, address and who knows what else as it goes.
Today's was even more difficult. I only had to do my own for the benefit account, but they needed both sides. Again, doing it through UPLOAD didn't work at first, but by taking an external photo of the front, and re-uploading the one from the refi for the back (that I knew scanned okay), I got it to say, Fine, I can read these. But then the site said, Sorry, I can read them, but I still don't know who you are.
They then offered access to a multi-platform dot-gov site that does document and identity verification for multiple federal agencies. This one took a good half an hour to get the photos right, but then with one other step it announced, Great! Your account is now set up! Go back to SSA and do your business!
....well except SSA then said, Sorry, you took too long to set up your account. No can do.
I was starting to envision- and dread- a visit to the local SS office on Monday to straighten it out, but then, just for giggles, I checked if I was having some kind of cookie or history problem. I copied the SS login link from Firefox, pasted it into Chrome, entered my login stuff, and....
YAY! I had my benefit statement! If I hold out the eight more years to age 70, it will be about $500 a month more than my best recollection was of what the last paper statement said. * ** ***
* If I should live so long.
** If Congress doesn't fuck up the whole program and reduce or eliminate what I've been paying for since 1977.
*** Nothing. There is no third thing.
But at least I accomplished it. Now to see if the people on the other end of that camera start calling to tell me they've been trying to reach me about my extended warranty.