♫And good ol' boys were pickin' whiskey and Ryan....♫

and hopefully, this will be the day that Mittens's campaign dies.

I found out about it in the middle of the night, in a fitful burst of insomnia, from a Mets blogger, of all people, who made a Nolan Ryan joke about it.  Immediately, I wondered why, if this guy was so good, the Republicans would bury the news late on a Friday during August.  Then I remembered an old Doonesbury riff about Nixon energy secretary Bill Simon, who was christened in the strip as the "Energy Czar," complete with signet ring and hot wax. One fine Arab oil boycott day, his Czarship decided that, since we were all used to the situation after a year or so of lines and semi-rationing, the "crisis" was over. Just like that- poof! No more energy crisis!



I'm still not sure which one this was. The timing seems too off for any kind of announcement the campaign would be proud of. But at least it makes clear what the choice will be in just under three months from now. No wimpy Minnesotan or dull Ohioan will be seconding the Charge of the Mittens Brigade, but rather it'll be a firebrand disciple of Ayn Rand- determined to cut every penny he can out of the federal budget except for military spending, cut taxes on his cronies, and turn the Medicare program I've been paying into without a dime out, for lo these past 35 years, into a voucher program that will cover about as much of my old age medical care as the 50% off massage Groupons I'm always getting.

You have to admit one thing- he's not Sarah Palin stupid.  The New Yorker just did a remarkably prescient profile of the guy where he comes across as decent, thoughtful and not afraid to call out his own party for its stupidity (i.e., the Bush administration). But unlike Caribou Barbie, who couldn't manage a serious policy analysis if one bit her in the ass, this guy is a policy wonk of Clintonian proportions. He's just on the wrong side of just about every issue I can think of.

Already, the fun has begun. Witness the local paper (parroted in many others) as it chose their term of art (or, perhaps, fart) for Mittens's choice:




Next, we'll have the double-R logos with Richie Rich connotations, and contests for the two of them to out-stiff each other. 

I wonder how many years of Ryan's tax returns had to be turned over to the campaign before he got the nod.

"I'm from the insurance company and I'm here to help you."

The latest and not-so-greatest from the continuing saga of Davey and Goliath, starring Emily as the chick with the slingshot and Aetna Healthcare as the stupid giant.

We got word earlier in the week that they had finally, FINALLY, approved her claim for the surgery to remove her impacted wisdom teeth, which was done, and which we advanced the entire cost for, back in April. After multiple hiccups, submission and resubmission of forms, it looked like she was going to get almost the entire thing paid for.

The key word here, of course, being "paid."

By midweek, no check. Em was wearing a trench into the area rug in the living room looking for the mailman.  Finally, she put the call in yesterday, and sure enough, they'd cut it two days before and sent it....

to the dentist.  The one we'd already advanced full payment for, because we all know how f'd up insurance companies are.

At this point, all they told her was they'd call the dentist and "work it out." We doubted it would be as simple as them signing the check over to us, and that there'd be yet another interminable delay while they waited to get the check back before issuing a new one.

But no.  In today's mail came the EOB (if you don't know what that means, you probably live in a country with those Socialist Kenyan Marxist Obama benefits that we hate so much here) which confirmed that, yes, they'd repaid the dentist $1,330.00...

and a credit card slip from said dentist, crediting our health savings account debit card for $1,130.00.

So. Forgetting the minor $200 discrepancy there (which I'm guessing is just the dentist slipping the 1 and the 3 on the keypad), this now causes a major clusterfudge for us because it got credited to the debit card connected to our HSA. We cannot just write a check from this account, or transfer it online to any other bank account, or do anything connected with it by using any of the bank's 200 local branches. (Deposits to the account have to be made to a PO Box in Milwaukee, and withdrawals can only be made online or by using the debit card.) We may be able to withdraw it from an ATM, assuming they don't just reverse it out once our Friday afternoon complaints get heard. (Not like it's actually IN there yet; funny how the debits show up instantly but the credits take days:P) But worst of all is that the tax rules for HSA deposits and deductions are more Byzantine than a Greek Orthodox sanctuary, and we stand an excellent chance of being penalized on our 2012 income taxes for an excess contribution, or a non-permitted withdrawal, or icing the puck, or SOMETHING.

And this is what Mittens and his new sidekick are trying to preserve because it's the best in the world.

Shoot me now. Then take me to the emergency room and deny me coverage because the bullet hole is a pre-existing condition:P