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Ebony, our remaining dog, has gone off her feed in the days since Tasha didn't come home.

That's not entirely unusual- for grieving pets in general, or even for her (she's the least chow-conscious of all the animals we've ever had)- but that's not all there is to it.

She's not just avoiding her kibble. Rather, when I fill her bowl, she just stands in front of it, looking at it, as if to say, something's not right here.

Which, I'm sure to her way of thinking, is entirely true.

Feeding time was the one true constant right up until the end. Tasha begged for her noms, rushed the cabinet in search of them, and the sound of her chowing down never changed, until it stopped.  I almost wish I'd recorded it- maybe I will when Ebony herself is eating (and she does, eventually), so she'll at least hear the sound of her BFF that's been missing so much from in here.

Date: 2013-10-14 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] warriorsavant.livejournal.com
Staying in a household full of animals right now, I can feel your sorrow even more acutely. Hugs to both humans and animals at your house.

Date: 2013-10-14 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] symian.livejournal.com
It's very common. Animals do love too, and miss the missing friend.

Date: 2013-10-14 03:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captainsblog.livejournal.com
Thank you. I appreciated your post from just now:)

Date: 2013-10-14 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captainsblog.livejournal.com
It's clearer to me than ever that "grief" and "relief" rhyme for a reason. Everybody's sleeping better; there's less stress at feeding time, and far less noise in the house from the deaf and incontinent dog, barking like crazy because she was unable to express (see what I did there?) herself any other way.

But they miss her as much as we do- and it's a delicate balance trying to react without over-reacting.

Date: 2013-10-14 03:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellettra.livejournal.com
Ah, poor babe. The same thing happened to Stripey. It does get better as the days go by, but it's heartbreaking to see.

Date: 2013-10-14 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tilia-tomentosa.livejournal.com
*hugs for everybody*

Date: 2013-10-15 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captainsblog.livejournal.com
Thanks, mluv. We're still experimenting with the psychology of it all. It's not food she's off- she still expects her treat mid-morning, and is very interested in our plates- but it's the feeding routine that seems to upset her.

So we're trying variations. Tonight, we deliberately did NOT put her bowl out when the cats ate, instead bringing it out to the patio when we ate our dinner, and I tossed a couple of scraps from my plate in. She chowed right down.

Most people commenting on this issue say to just give it time- in a few weeks, she'll be fine. Likely, she will; but for the moment, it's not a happy time.

Date: 2013-10-15 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captainsblog.livejournal.com
I remember that. And it will get better, but the dynamics are just so verklempt right now, it's affecting all of us.

Date: 2013-10-15 12:25 am (UTC)

Date: 2013-10-15 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thediva-laments.livejournal.com
In a way we were lucky when Smoky died. He died right here at home in my arms and in full view of the rest of the pack. They knew he was gone, they were able to sniff his body, and they got it that there was no more Smoky. They still grieved, Bucky spent a good portion of that night walking around the house howling, but it did make the process faster and easier.

That being said, when an animal just disappears I think it's harder on all of the other ones. I think that it makes the process longer. I know full well there's nothing to be done about it, but it makes for a tough adjustment for everyone.

Hang in there. We're thinking about all of you. *hugs*

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