The Very Secret Mortgage Refinance Diary of Raymond, Son of Raymond....

[captainsblog]

We found out on Friday that we still have two impediments in our path. Two crummy little pieces of paper which, in my personal legal opinion, are utterly useless if you believe My Word For It (in one case) or can do math (in the other).

The first is your basic IRS Form 4506-T. This little baby's what mortgage companies want nowadays to verify that the information you gave them about your taxes is what you told the IRS about them. It's free to obtain, and in normal times they take a day or two to get out of the Treasury's back-office wringer.

You may recall that this New Bank made us file our taxes three weeks early, not believing the draft of the document I'd sent them, and costing us several thousands in extra 2012 taxes because they wouldn't let us make a 2012 retirement contribution out of the closing cash-out. Even though I gave them the filed return, and the Turbo Tax receipt showing its acceptance, that warn't good enough. They needed independent confirmation, which, as of Friday, they didn't have.

So this morning, I got an idear: I'd go to the IRS myself and ask for one. If there wasn't a line (there wasn't), and if I could clear the strip-tease act at the security checkpoint (I did).  Paula Agent 1087394 was prompt, and courteous, but ultimately couldn't do what I asked. You see, even though the return's been accepted, it hasn't been processed. They prioritize returns with refunds over returns where dumbshits like us are paying, so there was nothing she could give me to offer as proof beyond what I already have offered to New Bank.  She did give me an 800 number, and advice to call them every day at 7 a.m. before things get busy, so at least I'll know when the "accepted" return has been "processed," and THEN she'll give me the magic bullet document.....

which New Bank probably won't accept because it could be a forgery. I actually considered asking her for a 2011 transcript just to see if the idiots wouldn't notice, but my senses of decency and fair play prevailed over that.

We'll see how long THAT lasts.

----

The other missing puzzle piece is an updated payoff statement from Old Bank.  Broker told me last week that they wouldn't honor the one they sent earlier in the month (first to New Bank, which was illegible, then to me after I yelled at them about the illegibility) because it only gave a figure through April 17th.

Which it did. But it also gave what we call a per diem, the amount per day you add to the April 17 figure to recalculate it if you're a day, or even 13 days, delayed in closing.

Nope, not good enough. New Bank won't accept anything short of a statement requiring them to do nothing but scrape their knuckles.  So I ordered another one online last Wednesday.  Thursday and Friday came and went without New Bank confirming its receipt, so I bothered Old Bank once again on Friday afternoon in between my six different appointments.

They said they had no record of receiving it online, but I could fax another request to them. Allow three to five business days for processing.

For WHAT?!? For hitting a "calculate" and then a "print" button?  Couldn't they expedite it, especially seeing how I already ordered it two days ago?

Erm, no. That would be unfair to the shlubs from last Monday who were still waiting for theirs.

Meanwhile, I'm getting near-daily calls and, today, a nastygram from Old Bank about the April payment being late. Which, if I make it (and I will if this thing drags on until anywhere close to April 30th), will double-pay part of the payoff and send another $500 or so to our escrow account to sit, uselessly, along with the $1,100 already there until they get around to refunding it in 4-6 weeks after payoff.

All of this is intended to keep us as customers for as long as is inhumanly possible, with interest ticking per diem at almost twice what it will be with New Bank when and if we ever get through this. Meanwhile, New Bank has made clear that their stickler-for-detail approach is intended solely for one purpose: to make it easier for them to sell our loan on the secondary market as soon as they possibly can once we close.

So the ones we're leaving just can't quit us, and the ones we're courting can't wait to get rid of us.



And to summarize after all that TL;DR: 

Still not refinanced.

Comments

[greenquotebook.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you need a new mortgage company. :(