"Heckuva Job, Darthie!"

[captainsblog]

It all makes sense now, these past 13 years of bad luck. There's no other explanation I can find:

George W. Bush is a Jedi Master.

Don't let the dumb face fool you, or the pronunciations that make you go nukulur. Dude pulled the biggest Jedi Mind Trick known to man for over eight years, and he's kept it going through another four into a fifth.

He started out small- working five guys in Washington to make them think he'd won an election he clearly lost. Fortunately, all but one of those guys were given their jobs by either his daddy or his daddy's former boss.

These are not the election results you are looking for. These. Are. Not. The. Election. Results. We're. Looking. For. Move along.

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Then he got trillions of dollars past the stormtroopers of right-wing radio. When Young Jedi George got to the White House, we were running a budget surplus. Today, that would be considered a good thing- savings for a rainy day, a chance to dent the entire cumulative national debt.  Instead, he viewed it as bad- that's other peoples' money we're hoarding- we have to give it back to them! Or spend it! Or both!

So he waved his light sabre and got through a humongous tax cut, started two wars, and passed a massive new Medicare benefit that mainly benefited Big Pharma more than actual senior citizens- and put it all on the company credit card.  Did we hear a peep about how it would cause, add to, majorly increase our budget deficit?  Deficit-shmefecit- about the only quote we ever got on it was from Emperor Palpatine, disguising himself as Vice President Dick Cheney, who told Paul O'Neill, Dubya's (soon fired) treasury secretary, "You know, Paul, Reagan proved that deficits don't matter. We won the mid-term elections, this is our due."

It grew and grew and grew over those final years, until the bailouts and TARPing of the final Empire Strikes Back moments of 2008 made trillions the norm. All of a sudden, Republicans were concerned, because the black guy was signing the checks.

These are not the deficits you are looking for. These. Are. Not. The. Deficits. We're. Looking. For. Move along.

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And now we have the televised freak show of Rand "Aqua Buddha" Paul being so concerned about Presidential-ordered drone strikes that he actually filibustered, Jimmy Stewart stylee, against a CIA director nominee who hadn't sufficiently proven his opposition to such tactics.  I'm not down with using such shoot-first-ask-questions-later against anyone subject to our power, but I'm no more opposed to it now than I was when Darth Dubya started the drone program, or authorized the use of fighter planes (too late) to shoot down American citizens in the air on 9/11, or deprived more people of more due process in the last seven years of his term than likely the entire coterie of banana republic dictators managed in the same time.

These are not the drones you are looking for. These. Are. Not. The. Drones. We're. Looking. For. Move along.

----

Dude may be retired now, but at least he and Pope Benedict have three more films to look forward to.

Comments

[mikailborg.livejournal.com]

Basically, they are all afraid of the drones now because they felt pretty confident the white President wouldn't get around to using it on *them*, but they are afraid the black one might.