captainsblog (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
captainsblog) wrote2007-07-22 07:09 am
captainsblog) wrote2007-07-22 07:09 am
The Daily Prophet- Cheap One-Line Muggle Joke Edition
Tammy Faye Bakker Dies
Stock analysts issued an "Urgent Warning" downgrading shares of Mary Kay Cosmetics to "Worthless."
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Five Polyps Removed from Bush's Ass
Dick Cheney immediately convened a meeting of the Joint Chiefs and began laying in plans for a senseless invasion of Polypia.
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Oxycontin Maker and Executives Fined $634.5 Million
Now-retired CEO Michael Freedman was followed down the courthouse steps by a weeping Rush Limbaugh, who kept uttering, "I just can't quit you."
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College Application Evacuates Illinois University Building
"There was no return address, it was poorly written, poorly addressed to the university, there were misspellings," according to an Eastern Illinois spokesperson. After x-raying, the applying student's package was transferred by bomb squad to Ohio State, where the applicant was offered a full four-year football scholarship.
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Fox Attacks Maryland Restaurant Worker
Salisbury police promptly arrested Bill O'Reilly and held him in a reinforced cage to protect other jailed inmates from rabies.
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Back to more HP-inspired weird dreams....
Stock analysts issued an "Urgent Warning" downgrading shares of Mary Kay Cosmetics to "Worthless."
----
Five Polyps Removed from Bush's Ass
Dick Cheney immediately convened a meeting of the Joint Chiefs and began laying in plans for a senseless invasion of Polypia.
----
Oxycontin Maker and Executives Fined $634.5 Million
Now-retired CEO Michael Freedman was followed down the courthouse steps by a weeping Rush Limbaugh, who kept uttering, "I just can't quit you."
----
College Application Evacuates Illinois University Building
"There was no return address, it was poorly written, poorly addressed to the university, there were misspellings," according to an Eastern Illinois spokesperson. After x-raying, the applying student's package was transferred by bomb squad to Ohio State, where the applicant was offered a full four-year football scholarship.
----
Fox Attacks Maryland Restaurant Worker
Salisbury police promptly arrested Bill O'Reilly and held him in a reinforced cage to protect other jailed inmates from rabies.
----
Back to more HP-inspired weird dreams....
no subject
I'm havng them too! And may I just say my sister sucks as a witch. She almost got me killed!