Testosterone Gone Wild!

Us wacky men. The things we do sometimes.

First this one, which I first heard on this past Sunday's Wait Wait:

Well, let's look at it this way: At least, this guy wasn't buying a blowtorch.

But that age-old adage that patience is a virtue somehow slipped the mind of a man shopping at The Home Depot on Utah Avenue South in Seattle on Thursday.

Around 9 p.m., the man was in line at a self-service checkout stand, ready to buy a pry bar and a hacksaw, according to a Seattle police report.

But, as a manager told an officer, the man accidentally hit the button on the computer screen for Spanish.

That was the tipping point for this consumer.

He became "frustrated that the machine was speaking Spanish," the police report says.

So, instead of asking for help, he let loose a blow with the pry bar and shattered the computer. He ran from the store and made a beeline to some railroad tracks, the report said.

A Seattle police officer searched for the man, but didn't find him.

The manager believes he caused about $10,000 in damage. He left the pry bar in his shopping cart.

As of airtime, the guy still hadn't been captured. ATMs and vending machines all through the King County area refused to dispense anything until they received heightened police protection.

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Then, from some sprots show I was listening to today, repeated here:

An Oklahoma fan professing to be a church deacon is facing aggravated assault charges for an altercation in an Oklahoma City bar after he grabbed the crotch of a man wearing a Texas Longhorns T-shirt, nearly castrating him. It took nearly 60 stitches to close the wound.

The shocking case has set off a raging debate in this football-crazed region about the extreme passions behind a bitter rivalry, and some legal observers have questions whether this case could ever have an impartial jury. Callers on talk radio have been heard to say that the Texas fan deserved what he got for wearing a Texas T-shirt into a bar in the middle of Sooner country.

The irony: Neither of the two fans attended either school.

The perp's name, btw? Allen Michael Beckett, once again proving the long-undisputed theory over at News of the Weird that nothing good ever becomes of people known by their first and middle names.  The same goes, I suppose, for people fixated on their middle initial.

ETA. Oh, here's one more: not so much testosterone in the active state, but more proof that just having the stuff in your system tends to make you stupid:

A Geneva man is in Ontario County Jail today after he admitted to stealing a car from a parking lot in Canandaigua so he could turn himself in to Geneva City Police on another charge, deputies said.

Vincent Estrada Jr., 29, was charged with grand larceny yesterday afternoon after Ontario County Sheriff’s deputies pursued the vehicle on County Road 4 and stopped Estrada on the 3000 area of Sutton Road in Geneva,deputies said.

Estrada was apparently wanted on a Family Court warrant that had been issued by Geneva Police. After he was stopped, he told deputies he was driving to the Geneva City Police Department to turn himself in, deputies said.

Estrada was turned over to Canandaigua City Police to face the charges, deputies said. He was being held in Ontario County Jail this morning, in lieu of $5,000 cash bail or $10,000 bond, deputies said.

Dude. If you'd just called 911, I'm sure they would've sent a car to come pick you up. No charge (or at least fewer charges than you're facing now).